Some lessons learned as a "Working Mom"

First let me say that I hate the title "working mom". Now that someone actually pays me to get up in the morning and get a job done during the day does not negate the fact that I worked before. It's just that no one paid me to do my work as a stay-at-home mom. It doesn't mean I wasn't working. I just wasn't working for someone else who paid me to do my job.

Before I went "back to the office" I pretty much got to pick and choose what & when I did what I did. My days were actually quite organized into laundry day, shopping/errand day, cleaning house day, volunteer at the school day - well, I'm sure you get the picture. These were days that I planned my kids breakfast, lunch, dinner & snacks down to the tiniest detail. I didn't feel ultra organized, but now I look back on it all, I was a tad over the top. But I loved it.

Then came my 39th birthday. This was the day that I "went back to work". Let me tell you, it was not a good day. I came home every day for the first few weeks and bawled. Yes, bawled. There's just no other way to describe it. Then, something funny started to happen. I started to "own" my job. I started to enjoy it. The bawling settled down to a few crying sessions here and there - but on the whole, I felt empowered. I felt smart. I felt like I could tackle a task and have it DONE, and someone would pay me to do it. At first I felt a little guilty about enjoying my job - but it didn't take long for me to realize that if I have to be working outside the home, I might as well be giving it all I've got.

This transition from stay-at-home to working mom hasn't been easy. I've landed a number of bumps and bruises along the way. It's definitely been a learning process - and here are a few of my first lessons learned:

1. I'm not the young professional with boundless energy like I used to be. I am not the cute, perky employee of yester year. I'm more like the old reliable. That's a hard one to face.
2. My kids are pretty darn strong. They've stepped up to the plate. Many of the things I used to keep myself so busy with before, are things my kids can do on their own. This means there is jelly in the peanut butter jar, crumpled clothes in their closets and school projects that are completely kid manufactured. Our lives are messy, but things are getting done.
3. Messy ain't so bad. I mean, seriously, who really cares? I have yet to have someone come into my house to count the times I've swept or vacuumed the floor.
4. I will forget treat days at soccer, carpool & cub scouts. I can't beat myself up over it, I just have to do my best, accept the mistakes & move on.
5. I used to waste a lot of time and money on stuff that honestly DID NOT MATTER.
6. The things that matter and the things that don't are much more clearly defined. And I simply don't have time for the latter anymore.
7. My husband rocks. He does laundry, makes meals, runs carpool and volunteers at class parties. He has pulled more than his fair share of the load without a word of complaint.

So, to sum it all up - I'm old, tired, messy and disorganized, but more grounded, focused & content. I guess crazier things have happened.