Saturday, December 27, 2008

We love Christmas!

The kids slept in until 8 am on Christmas morning. This would have been perfect if I had been able to sleep past 6 am - I still get as excited as the kids to see what Santa has brought. Except for my excitement is all about the grins on their faces and their shouts of delight. This year was fantastic. We got together as a family in November and talked about how many families are struggling with having enough money right now. We drew a "Christmas Pie" to represent what our kids usually receive for Christmas, and asked them how much of their pie they would be willing to give to another family who didn't have a very large "Christmas Pie" of their own. The generosity of kids never ceases to amaze me.
Merry Christmas Daddy! The kids gave Mike the first season of "The Simpsons"



Kaitlyn asked Santa for "American Doll Girl" twins. Yes, that's how she says it, no matter how many times we ask, "are you sure they aren't called American Girl Dolls?". She saw a picture of them in August when Kass & I returned from our trip to Chicago. She carried that picture around until it literally fell apart into little pieces. Here she is opening the only gift she wanted from Santa.

Kassidy wanted Santa to bring her a chair for her bedroom. He brought her an ottoman, rug & lamp as well. It made Santa kind of sad to hear that her list now consists of furnishings and clothing instead of Barbies and toys. I had to explain to him that kids grow up. He shed a few tears over that one. :)


Caleb's facial expressions are priceless. Here he is opening up his Wii sports pack. As soon as he saw the "Mario Cart" steering wheel - he knew that he must be getting the game as well. He has played Mario Cart so much in the last 2 days, that I think his eyes may permanently glaze over.
We have spent the last few days in our pj's, eating treats, and enjoying Christmas! We hope that you've been able to do some of the same.
Merry Christmas everyone!

Friday, December 19, 2008

I am . . .

I am . . . almost 38 years old. Wow that went by really fast.
I think. . . way too much, half of the time about stuff that doesn’t really matter.
I know. . . my friends are there for me. They may be laughing, but they are there!
I want. . . to be able to run forever without getting tired.
I have. . . laughed so hard I peed my pants. Seriously.
I dislike. . . really bad chocolate. If you are going to make chocolate, make it right, dang it!
I miss. . . the fall in Vermont.
I fear. . . dying in an airplane crash. Irrational, yet true.
I feel. . . content.
I hear . . . my kids playing star wars.
I smell. . . popcorn.
I crave. . . really good chocolate, diet coke, and . . . I’ll just leave it at that :)
I cry . . . too much, but at least it means I can still feel.
I search. . . Caleb’s eyes to determine if he is telling the truth.
I wonder. . . if I am being a good mom.
I regret. . . not talking about post-partum depression until after the birth of my third child.
I wish. . . I had my own soda fountain with endless diet coke and yummy ice.
I love. . . snuggles, hugs & kisses.
I care. . . about crumbs in my silverware drawer. There seems to be an endless supply of them.
I always. . . sleep with a full glass of water by the side of my bed.
I worry. . . about my kids growing up in a crazy world.
I am not. . . a fashionista. Blue jeans, t-shirts & sweatshirts. That pretty much sums it up.
I remember. . . budgeting $25 a week for groceries.
I believe. . . in Karma.
I sing. . . in the car. Big time.
I don’t . . . like sarcasm.
I argue. . . very seldomly. But when I do, watch out!
I write. . . to unclog my brain and my heart.
I win. . . sometimes I guess, but it’s not a big deal to me.
I lose. . . at rock, paper, scissors. EVERY TIME.
I listen. . . to the news, talk radio, and 80’s rock.
I don’t understand. . . a whole heckuva lot.
I can usually be found. . . drinking a diet coke.
I need. . . sleep. Tons & tons of sleep.
I forget. . . my keys, my phone, my phone number, pretty much anything and everything that can be forgotten.
I am happy. . . period.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

A few of the things I'm grateful for...





I meant to write this one a few weeks ago, and I'm finally getting to it, even without the photos from my infuriating camera. So here are a few of the things that I am really grateful for as 2008 draws to a close...

  1. Sleeping Children. Now don't get me wrong, I love my children when they are awake as well. But there is nothing, and I mean NOTHING like watching these sweet little stinkers sleep. They are absolutely perfect. It warms my heart, makes all life's troubles melt away, and even makes me giggle just watching them sleep. (just look at the shin guards on Caleb's legs and you'll see a great example of why I giggle.)
  2. My new washer and dryer. I've wanted a front load washer and dryer for what feels like forever! I've gone from trudging through my laundry ALL WEEK LONG to starting and finishing it in a single day. What is there not to love about that? Plus they are my favorite color - RED. Even better, they play a little melody to remind me that it's time to switch out the clothes I'm washing/drying. And my favorite - they have a "steam" cycle where you put in a few items that need to be ironed, and it steams the wrinkles right out of them. I'm in laundry heaven I tell you. The only thing that I can imagine that could make it even better would be if a little elf came in every week and did it all for me. I always believed that possessions couldn't bring happiness until I was introduced to these little beauties. They're bringing me some serious happiness.
  3. My running shoes. I've decided that buying new running shoes every six months is considerably cheaper than therapy. And that is exactly what they are to me. Therapy. Really good therapy! I've been running since I was 13 years old, and this year it means even more to me. Why? I spent a few years being sick, and I remember the day I told Mike, "I'm not a runner anymore." I just took too much out of me physically to justify it's "mental" benefits. It was a sad day for me. It makes me cry to think about it. I honestly didn't think I'd ever run a considerable distance again. But this year I've been able to start running again. It's like I've reconnected with a good friend that I thought I'd lost forever. This year, I'm lovin' my running shoes, and it feels good.
  4. Good friends. I have friends who've been there for me since Jr. High, friends strewn across the country from the many places I've lived, and friends in my own neighborhood who make my life on so much brighter on a daily basis. Women need other women. It's just the way it is. I'm grateful to have some absolutely amazing women in my life.
  5. My sweetheart. He loves me, believes in me, and makes me laugh. Who could ask for more? Our first date was 15 years ago this month, and he hasn't been able to shake me since :).
  6. The Gospel of Jesus Christ. With each passing year I realize more and more how little I actually know, how imperfect I am, and how completely dependent I am upon Him.

I have much to be grateful for - but these are a few of my favorites. Life is good.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

The Power of a Woman

This last week I've done a lot of thinking about the strength I see in the women I know. I have friends who are going through or still dealing with the effects of divorce, many facing what seem to be enormous financial struggles, another mourning the loss of her mother, and others who face the challenges of raising small children in a harsh and often unforgiving world.

It's made me think about the power that resides within every woman. You know what? They are strong. They are powerful. And there's a bunch of them who don't even know it. Now don't get me wrong, I know that men have incredible strengths as well, I just don't know that much about men other my own husband & the cute little 7 year old running around that looks just like him. I see their personal strengths on a daily basis, but other than them I'm pretty much clueless when it comes to men. But women I get. Being a woman kind of gives me an unfair advantage on this one.

The power within a woman differs from person to person, but it's there. You can feel it when you are around them. Do you know what I mean? You can honestly feel it when they are using their strength. Maybe that sounds weird, but for me it's true. It's power that can be seen or felt in their determination, kindness, and strong will. It's there in the smallest and most encompassing aspects of a women's life. It's there in the way she treats her children, her husband, her friends. So why am I writing about it, and for that matter thinking about it?

I believe so strongly in the power of women that I honestly know the power to change the world lies within them. This is the reason that the adversary (or whatever you want to call that stinkin' force that just wants to screw up the world) does everything within his power to keep women from seeing just how amazing they are. Get a woman to focus on anything other than what really matters in life, and you've got her. Get her to focus on having the perfect body, the perfect clothing, the perfect home, the perfect ANYTHING, and you get her to stop focusing on the stuff that really does matter. Her strength is lost. Get her to treat others with disdain and disrespect, and her power fades away. And in the process, you literally affect everyone around her.

So my question is, why in the world do we women seem to be so willing to turn over our God given power to anyone who wants to claim it? Why? I just don't get it. I guess it's easy for nearly everyone of us to say, "oh, it's because all the media does these days is focus on physical beauty." or "I've had a really hard life, and I just don't have control over this stuff" And all of that is true, but you want to know what I think? I think we hand it over to anyone else because we either don't have a clue how strong we are, or it's just easier to let it go.

My son came home today in tears. Since kindergarten he's been best buddies with two boys at school. They play together, have class together, and ride the bus together. Well, at the beginning of the year a new kid moved in. Nice kid by the way. BUT - only 3 kids can sit on the same seat on the bus. Guess who got kicked out of the "best buddy club"? My kid. I'm sure I don't have to tell you how hard it is to watch your own child confront something that painful. "Buck up" and "Make some new friends!" just don't seem to cut it. Crap, I've had friends do the same thing to me and I'm 37. It hurts a helluva lot let me tell you. After consoling him, I have to go somewhere else in the house to hide so I can cry. Honestly, it's breaking my heart. He's seven. He doesn't see his strength. He doesn't know how absolutely amazing he is. I'm trying my best to teach him, but this is life. And sometimes life stinks!

So why in the world am I sharing this story and talking about women? Because we do the same damn thing to each other ALL THE TIME!!! Some of us are so used to giving our own power away that we can't stand to see another woman be strong. Not only do we have to get rid of our own, we have to take everyone else down in the process. And I am sick of it! Did you hear that? SICK OF IT!

So ladies - gather together those women in your life who inspire you, and in the process you will inspire them. Get rid of the meanness, the cattyness, all of the crap that doesn't matter one little bit. Seriously, whatever your passion is in life, whether it is your job, your kids, your spouse, the environment, your faith, WHATEVER - just grab onto it and stand up for it. Make it important. Make it matter. Do not let anyone or anything take that power within you away.

Thank you to my girlfriends, my family, and the women out there who don't have a clue that I am watching, for inspiring me. Thank you for being strong. Thank you for showing me that the power of a woman is indeed immeasurable and everlasting.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

There's always time for diet coke!

ubersearch.: "Natalie Dee
http://www.blogger.com/www.nataliedee.com"

A day in the life...

I've been thinking about a really nice post that I wanted to do for my blog about all the things I'm thankful for. I even took pictures of my washer & dryer and running shoes for crying out loud! And everyone else was doing the whole "gratitude" thing on their blogs so I just wanted to join in. But, I can't figure out how to get the stupid pictures off of my camera and on to my blog. I think the entire photo importing process secretly changes everytime I attempt it. You would think after doing it a number of times that I wouldn't have to go to Mike for help - but I do. EVERY TIME.

So I'm giving up on the gratitude stuff for a day and writing about life. My life. Here goes...

Alarm goes off at 4:50 am. Seriously, 4:50 am! I STUMBLE into the bathroom to put on fifty million layers of clothes so I don't freeze my butt off while running with Chelsea. I was sick last week so I put in a total pansy run. TOTAL PANSY!!! I got my butt out of bed before the sun was up to run like a total pansy. Chelsea is awesome for giving me a little slack though.

6:00 am it's off to Winegars. Why in the world would I go to Winegars at 6am? To buy my daughter her poster board of course. I've known about the poster board since Monday, but did I buy it then? No. That would make too much sense. That would be too easy. So while I'm in Winegars I think to myself, I might as well buy a few other things that I need as long as I'm here. So I pile in the Marshmellow Matey's (better than the real thing btw), mandarin oranges, pancake mix and whatever else I can get my hands on. I pay the cashier, load the groceries in the car, and suddenly realize, I FORGOT THE POSTER BOARD!!! I seriously thought about how I could possibly send Kass to school without the poster board. Maybe the teacher really meant Thursday instead of Wednesday or maybe she'll have extras for the kids with slacker parents. Reluctantly, I head back in to buy the 65 cent poster board and put it on my credit card. I don't have any cash.

6:30 am and I'm trying to use my nice mommy voice and convince my children that they really DO want to climb out of their nice warm beds and head off to school. They don't seem to believe me. Finally, I end up telling each of them, "I swear, if you miss the bus again today you will have to pay me five dollars!". This time they listen - money seriously does talk! Then it's my version of the amazing race - make breakfast, pack lunches, make sure everyone's brushed teeth & hair, and has their homework, backpack, jacket. This race usually ends with me hollering, "I love you!" followed by "run guys! RUN! The bus is on its way!".

By this time my body is screaming, "must have more sleep!" while my mind is running a million miles a minute. How can I shower, clean the kitchen, and have the laundry folded, and read with Kaitlyn by the time I need to be at my hair appointment. I made a hair appointment for today after seeing a couple of photos of me taken last week. SCARY HAIR! Sadly, photos don't lie. I don't get it all done, but hey, I showered and read with Kaitlyn so the rest can wait.

11:00 am I arrive at a new hair salon, because they are the only ones who were able to fit me in at the last minute. And I couldn't wait another day. I haven't had my hair cut or colored for 6 months. It's time for some desperate measures. The gray hairs that I like to pretend are "highlights" are starting to make me look like a female Jay Leno. This is NOT a good thing! I describe to Heather, my 20 something "stylist" what I want in a hairstyle (ie. try to make me look like I actually HAVE a hairstyle and hide the gray hair please). She then proceeds to take 3 hours - 3 HOURS - to highlight and cut my hair. She is obviously not a mother of three children. She obviously does NOT understand that when you are a mom, every second you have without a child hanging on your leg is as precious as gold. She kept saying things like, "oh, I need to go mix up some more color" and "Let's just let that process a while", and "I'm going to need more foil". Once, I got so sick of waiting that I actually went looking for her. And I found her. Putting on her make-up! She was trying various shades of lipgloss from the display case in the salon, and had obviously added new eyeshadow and liner. I wanted to FREAK OUT! I wanted to say, "I'm wasting my child-free minutes waiting on you to find the right shade of lip gloss?". However, I was sane enough to realize that yelling at one's "stylist" is NOT a good idea BEFORE they take sharp scissors to your over processed hair.

2:00 pm I am livid, yes livid, over the fact that I cannot run to Costco as planned due to the insane hair appointment. No time. Kids are coming home. I run home to face the piles of dishes and laundry that I didn't conquer this morning. They are still there taunting me, so I sit down to commiserate and drink a diet coke. Hooray! There is always time for Diet Coke.

3 ish pm the kids come home and it's "how was your day?" and "hang up your jacket", and "how much homework do you have". The questions are followed by a snack and absolute chaos as we try to get everything done in the small amount of time allotted for these sorts of things. The dishes are still staring at me, so instead of tackling them, I sit down to write. Writing is good therapy, and the rates are cheap.

So the day isn't done, but I can tell you how it will end. A made rush to lessons, and friends, dinner, scriptures, Harry Potter, brushing teeth and prayers. Followed by a dash of "stay in bed" and "If you're so hungry, you should've eaten more at dinner". At the end of which I end up exhausted on the couch sitting next to that handsome man I married.

I may still be ticked at Heather for taking twice as long to do her job, but don't get me wrong, I realize that I do have a good life. A damn good life in fact. Thanks for listening, I feel much better :)

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

high school advice for my kids


So I'm in the midst of planning my 20th reunion from high school, and I must admit I'm enjoying it even more than I thought I would. It certainly causes me stress, but the connections I've made with old friends, and even finding some new ones has been a blast! It's got me thinking about my own kids. They seem so far away from high school at the moment, but while I'm in the midst of walking down memory lane I thought I'd share some advice about high school with them. So here goes...

To my girls...

Be a loyal friend! Make tons of friends in high school, but above all else, be loyal to them. That way you will never regret the way in which you treated those precious friendships.

Find a couple of girlfriends that you know you can trust and KEEP THEM. Who knows, when you are nearing 40 you may have a few friends that have been there during the best & worst times of your life. They will know everything about you, and love you in spite of it all.

DON'T BE CATTY or MEAN!!!! For some reason, this is something that many girls, and sadly women, are like. You can't change this about others. Sometimes you will have to walk away from friendships for this very reason, but do not participate in it yourselves!

Don't be afraid to love. Yes, your heart will get broken, but it WILL heal, so let go of the fear and just love. The lessons you learn by loving in high school will help you to love more completely in marriage. Might sound silly now, but alas, it's very true.

Love does not equal physical intimacy. That means ANY physical intimacy. They are not the same thing. At some point, someone may try to make you think that they are. THEY AREN'T.

And while we're on the subject, physical intimacy in high school (and quite frankly before marriage) has limits. Very specific limits. Don't forget to tell the boys you date exactly what these limits are. This doesn't mean I don't want you to ever kiss a boy or hold his hand, just do not go beyond that. Period. And honestly, if you are going to kiss them, make sure you are both standing up. It's much more difficult to go beyond that while you are both standing up. :)

Take the time to find out who you are, what you believe, and what type of person you want to become. Learning more about yourself during high school will help you to make good choices today, rather than bad choices you'll regret later.

No matter how hard you try, there will always be choices you regret. Learn to forgive yourself and move on.

Get involved. In clubs, sports, student government, choir, WHATEVER interests you. Just get involved.

Do not, under any circumstances, drink alcohol or take any drugs of any kind. Sometimes it takes just once. I know from heart wrenching experience that drug & alcohol addiction can happen to "all american kids". Drug addiction destroys lives. It destroys families. It breaks hearts. It kills.

Work hard and play hard. Keep a balance between work and play, otherwise you'll graduate and think to yourself, "I wish I hadn't missed out on so much!".

Tell your mom what you're feeling and what you're up to, because I KNOW she'll want to hear about it.

To my little guy...

Ditto to everything I said to the girls, plus a few extras.

Open doors for your dates. Every. Time.

Be Strong. Not just physically, but spiritually, emotionally & socially.

ALWAYS, ALWAYS Stand up for yourself and others. Be a protector of what is right. It just takes one person to treat themselves and others this way for the rest to follow.

AVOID PORNOGRAPHY as if it were the plague!!!! It is. It will affect your life FOREVER if you don't. Sadly, this is not an exaggeration.

To all three of you...Your mom and dad do love you. They want you to be happy. They want to be involved in your lives. Please let them.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Happy Birthday Mike!

Call me weird, but I love this photo. This is how Mike and I end up every night after we put the kids to bed. Side by side on the couch, watching tv, holding hands & playing footsie. Life is good!


Mike and I on one of our annual family trips to the pumpkin patch. Yes, he is texting. One of the good/bad things about owning your own business and using your blackberry as your office, it goes with you where ever you go. :)


Enjoying each other at a family party at Aunt June's house.

Snuggling with daddy before they're off to bed!

Caleb working on his swing with help from dad.


Happy Birthday to my sweet husband! He turns 37 today, so he is finally the same age as me for a couple of months before he can accuse me of robbing the cradle again. I love this man! He and I met while serving missions for our church in New England. He was one of the missionaries who took me to the airport to fly home when I was finished, and I knew then at the very least I wanted to marry someone exactly like him. I mean, how often do you find someone who is incredibly hard working and yearns for adventure at the same time? Not very often. I had dated enough in college to know, that's for sure. So why do I love him? First off, he loves that I'm crazy. How lucky am I? Second, he isn't perfect, and he sure as hell doesn't pretend to be. (side note - I'm trying to curb my cussing habit, but it's been difficult. It's just two cuss words that I use, that can't be too bad can it?). Sometimes as little girls, we often dream about the handsome prince that is going to come and carry us off to live happily ever after. Instead, I was lucky enough to find someone who is handsome, but wants to enjoy the journey with me rather than carry me through it. Believe me, after nearly 15 years of being together, he is still the man I absolutely and completely adore. Happy Birthday Mike!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Definitely NOT Politics as Usual

It is 5:47 am after a morning run and I have 45 minutes to spare. Instead of sleeping or even showering I am blogging instead. I'm beginning to think that I may have a blogging problem. Is there a support group out there that I should know about? But, I have SERIOUSLY wanted to write about everything going on in my brain and heart since the election, but my last post consumed me for a while. Thank you, by the way, to everyone who read it and commented. Writing it made me feel incredibly vulnerable, but it was something that I knew I needed to do for my own sanity.


So, what about the rest of the election? Honestly, I found it to be quite amazing! I think I ended up crying at least 3 times while listening to various speeches. Now that I think about it, that's pretty sad. I mean who cries over someone's political speech? I guess I do. Sometimes watching politics play out is like watching a good movie for me. Sometimes it's a comedy that is funny as heck, sometimes a horror show and I'm afraid to even watch, and like this one, sometimes it's a really good drama. First off, let me say that things didn't exactly turn out the way I was hoping. I voted for the other guy. BUT, I am a realist and it was quite obvious that my guy was going to get blown out for quite a while now. And, since Presidential elections only come around every 4 years, I watched nearly every minute of both conventions (thank heavens for tivo) and soaked in McCain's concession along with Obama's acceptance speeches. Here are a few of the things that I loved about this Presidential election.


The nomination of Sarah Palin for the Republican VP. Okay, now time for a little more honesty, I didn't think she was the best choice. I know, I know, I got all fired up on this very blog due to the way she was being treated by feminists. And believe me, I was fired up! That post had to do with FEMINISM, not with being the Vice President of the United States. In my gut I just don't think it was a wise choice. In all honesty, I was rooting for Lieberman (no, not Mitt, because as I said, I'm a realist when it comes to politics, and the religious bigotry issue is still a major issue). When I heard that she was going to get the Republican VP nod I kind-of cringed inside. I think she has serious potential in the Republican party, but was thrown into the thick of things a little to soon. Needless to say, I was very curious to hear her nomination acceptance speech. As I sat on my couch and watched as she was introduced at the National Republican Convention the tears started rolling down my cheeks. Maybe I've been a little crazy since childhood, but my childhood dream was to become President, before I realized that women in this country just don't "become president". Watching the first woman being added to a Republican national ticket was pretty darn awesome, whether I felt she was the best choice or not. As I listened to her, I thought to myself, "this woman is a spit-fire!", and sometimes there's nothing like watching a strong woman go out and kick some butt - no matter what side of the political isle she is on, or whether you would vote for her or not. She and Hillary Clinton made it possible for little girls all over our country to dream about becoming president without our sometimes idiotic system knocking the wind out of their sails.


It wasn't long before I was crying again - just the next night in fact during John McCain's speech. Listening to him describe his captivity while serving our country was gut wrenching to say the least. To hear him describe how upon receiving his freedom his life was no longer his own, but belonged to his beloved country was inspiring. Then he did something I will never forget. He passionately implored each of us to "Stand up and fight" with him for the that very country. Anyone who has watched John McCain speak knows that "passion" is usually the last word you could use to describe it. However, this night I saw something that is rarely seen in politics, raw and honest emotion. There was no doubting that he would do anything for his country.

I watched Barack Obama's speech at the Democratic National Convention hoping to be swept off my feet, but only ended up thinking to myself, "I wish I could believe you man". I'm a lower taxes, smaller government, stay out of my way and let me succeed type of gal. I'm also a big believer in "sharing the wealth" philosophy, but I want to determine who to share it with and how to share it. But despite our political differences, his acceptance speech the night of the election did not disappoint! It was a surreal feeling, watching the first African American being elected to our nation's highest office. The only thing I can really compare it to from my own life experience, is watching the Berlin Wall being torn down in 1989. Both were something as Americans we had always dreamed of, but didn't know whether or not we'd live to see happen. The humility and resolve in his voice and words that night are truly something I hope I can believe in. I hope that he has an amazingly successful first term as President of the United States. Why? Not because of his gender, political party, or the color of his skin, but because this is America - and I hope to always see her rise above any challenges that lie in her way. I hope that we are better off fours years from now than we are today. I hope that in four years I'll be running to the polls to vote for Barack Obama because of what he has done for our country. Only time will tell.


Friday, November 14, 2008

Why and What I Believe

I’ll be honest; I’ve always believed that one’s religion and faith is something to be ingrained into the heart and soul of the believer, not onto their sleeve for the masses to view. My religious faith is at the very center of who and what I am. I am certainly not perfect at practicing it, but that is what makes faith so amazing.

So why am I now writing about what I believe and why I believe it? It’s a long story but I will try desperately to sum it all up. In a nutshell, it’s the state of California’s vote on Proposition 8. The vigorous way in which my church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (or Mormons), sought to ensure that Proposition 8 passed has opened it up to vicious attacks on individuals, businesses, and the church in general. I have no problem with the peaceful protests. To be honest, they make me proud of the country that I live in and love. I certainly don’t agree with everyone in this world, why would I expect everyone to agree with me? In fact, I think that a civil discourse about our nations’ differences is healthy and necessary. However, when homes & churches are being severely vandalized, families are forced from their homes, and people become targets of violent attacks, then sitting quietly in my peaceful home is no longer an option.

Rather than fighting fire with fire, and hatred with anger, the only thing I can do as a Christian is explain what and why I believe. My intent is absolutely not to convert or convince the reader, but simply to explain WHY Mormons worked so diligently for the passage of Proposition 8. Then maybe, just maybe, the community we have so obviously offended will offer us the same “tolerance” they fought for these many years.

I am a practicing member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, often referred to as “Mormons”. Having been born and raised in Bountiful, Utah it would be easy to assume that this faith was pounded into my head from birth until I no longer had any choice but to believe. However, this couldn’t be farther from the truth. I grew up in a family that didn’t actively participate in any religious activities. I was taught that there was a God, and that I was His child, and quite frankly that was all that mattered at the time. I was baptized at the age of 8, but had absolutely no understanding as to what this meant.

At the age of 6, my parents divorced. For a young girl, my world as I had known it seemed to crumble around me. What on earth could I believe in if it wasn’t that my mom and dad would always love one another? If their love could die, was there anything out there that could possibly remain true forever? I obviously didn’t realize it at the time, but this began my quest for truth. My desire to find something that was constant, absolute, and never changing.

When I was a sophomore in high school, I became pretty serious about my “search for truth”. I had a lot of crazy friends at the time (wonderful, yet crazy) and I started to think, “Why am I trying so hard to be good, when all the while I just seem to be missing out on a lot of fun”. I decided to study religion, and if I didn’t find what I was looking for, then to hell with it all – I was going to join in on the craziness. What happened next was completely unexpected. I remember distinctly going up to my bedroom and locking my bedroom door so I could kneel by my bed and pray. Heaven forbid that someone actually find me praying! It certainly was not something I was used to or comfortable doing. After talking to a number of adults that I trusted, I had started reading the Book of Mormon. A book revered as scripture along with the Bible by those of the Mormon faith. I honestly wanted to plead with God to know if it really was what it claimed to be, “Another Testament of Jesus Christ”. I don’t know if I expected to get an answer or not, but in my heart of hearts I know I got one. This was the moment that my life changed; the first moment I knew what I was reading was true.

Since that day I have done my best to live in accordance with what I believe to be true. And what does this mean exactly? It means that I believe I am a daughter of God, that He knows me and loves me unconditionally, just as He does every human being who has ever lived on this earth regardless of their faith, gender, ethnicity, or any other characteristic that make each of us unique. I also believe that God reveals His will to His people through His prophets. These prophets include those from the Old Testament such as Adam, Abraham, and Moses. They also include what we consider to be “Latter-day” prophets who continue to live on the earth today. The man who I believe to be the Lord’s prophet on the earth today is Thomas S. Monson. He is also the President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Since I believe these men to be prophets of God, it is vitally important to my faith that I listen to what they say, and pray to know that it is right. Contrary to popular belief, we are not simply “brainwashed” into believing whatever our prophet says. We are strongly encouraged to always listen to his words, ponder them in our hearts, and then pray to know of their truthfulness.

In 1995, the prophet and President of our church introduced a statement to the entire membership that is now considered to be sacred truth. It is titled, “The Family: A Proclamation to the World”. It begins by stating, “We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children. All human beings - male and female - are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny." The entire document is a powerful affirmation of what God expects of His children regarding their family relationships while they are on this earth. Literally millions of Latter-day Saints read and re-read this statement and prayed to know if it truly was from God. As the membership of the Lord’s church, we accepted it as such.

Little did we know that in 13 short years our belief in this document would be severely tested. With the introduction of Proposition 8 to the ballot in California this year, it surely was. The leadership of our church asked members, especially those in California, to contribute their time, money and talents into making sure that Proposition 8 passed. Did they issue it as a requirement for continued membership in the church? Absolutely not. President Monson did tell us that one of his roles as a prophet of God was to act as a “watchman on a tower”, and that though we may not see the importance of the proposition passing at this time, the Lord certainly did. I have no doubt that hundreds of thousands of members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in California did exactly what we have always been asked to do. They considered the statement of the prophet, and prayed for direction from the Lord. It is certain that not every member of the church in California voted in favor of Proposition 8. For those who did, I am positive their decision was not based on bigotry and intolerance, but instead on a desire to follow their spiritual leader’s counsel.

With the membership of the Mormon Church making up only 2% of the population in California, and 52% of the entire Californian population voting in favor of Proposition 8, I continue to ask myself why is it that Mormons seem to have taken the brunt of the vicious attacks by recent protestors? The only conclusion I can come to is that for some reason, in this supposedly “progressive” and “tolerant” nation of ours, it is still socially acceptable to rage against the Mormon’s. After all, we are a peculiar people. We have traditions and beliefs that make us stand out even among other Christian faiths. However, we do have the courage and determination to stand firm against accusations that we are somehow prejudiced against homosexuals and others who choose to pursue an alternative lifestyle. How can we do this? Because we know what we believe and why we believe it. We are following the counsel of a man whom we believe to be a prophet of God, nothing more and nothing less. We believe that every single person on this earth, regardless of their beliefs, is a child of God. At the same time, we also believe marriage to be a sacred institution. To those who preach or espouse violence against us for adhering to our religious beliefs, I ask you to please consider if maybe, just maybe, we Mormons are simply doing what we consider to be tolerant and faithful at the same time.

Kristen Ricks

Monday, November 3, 2008

Man, I love this little guy!

Okay, so my son Caleb is a little too much like his mom when it comes to loving and needing sleep. This makes it very difficult to get him out of bed in the mornings for school. The school bus comes at 7:30 am, which means I wake the kids at 6:30 am. It usually takes Caleb at least 2 times of being "officially woken up" before he can actually function and get his clothes on. It's when I have to trudge up the stairs 3 or 4 times that I really begin to loose my patience.


This morning I sent Kassidy back up stairs for me to see if Caleb was out of bed and getting dressed yet, while I manned the Cinderella waffle maker. And surprise, surprise, he was still sleeping. So I started a new waffle and hustled upstairs to push and prod my seven year old stinker into waking up. I was NOT HAPPY when I entered his room, so I was prepared to use my "mean mommy" voice and demand that he GET OUT OF BED!!! But as I turned him over to give him a little talking to I noticed a tiny yellow paper airplane laying on the bed beside him. I picked it up, it was quite intricate as far as paper airplanes go, and noticed that he had written something on it. I quietly opened the airplane, praying that I would somehow know how to refold it when I was done, and read the words he had written. This is what it said:


To: Dad
Your the best. I love you dad.
And you are realy silly.
I love you dad. The end.
From: Caleb

He looked at me with his sleepy little eyes and said, "that's why I'm so tired mom, I stayed up late making that paper airplane". There was no "mean mommy" voice left in me. How could there be? He had stayed up late writing his daddy a note and making him a paper airplane. My heart literally melted on the spot, and I just had to hug him. Then I proceeded to help him get dressed in record time before I burnt the next Cinderella waffle. Man, I love this little guy!

Here he is gettin down at the Jazz game last Saturday night. You'll have to tilt your head to the side, as the mom videotaping still doesn't have much to speak of in the tech skills department.


Sunday, November 2, 2008

Apparently I've been tagged ...

5 things I was doing 10 years ago ...

1. I was living in Northern Virginia with my husband and 2 1/2 month old baby girl.
2. Wondering, "Will I ever get enough sleep again in my entire life?"
3. Wondering, "How come everyone makes this mommy thing look so easy, and I'm just not getting it?"
4. Wondering, "Will I ever feel normal again?"
5. Obviously doing a lot of wondering in my sleep deprived state. I must have been absent that day in school when some competent adult explained how INCREDIBLY HARD being a parent is. I mean, seriously, they wouldn't just send me off completely unprepared for this insane adventure they call parenthood would they?

5 things on today's "to do" list...

1. Get an extra hour of sleep! Man, I LOVE the end of Daylight Savings Time for this very reason. (DONE!)
2. Go to church, and try to gain some spiritual insight into my life without falling asleep or yelling at my kids. (DID MY BEST!)
3. Clean my laundryroom. I kind of threw everything in there for my Halloween Party the other night so my home would "appear" clean. Today I had to pay the piper for that one. (DONE!)
4. Watch "Journey to the Center of the Earth" with my family. (DONE! this was totally fun, and we ate tons of Halloween candy at the same time. Wahoo!)
5. Snuggle with Mike. (Still lookin' forward to this one!)

5 snacks I enjoy...

1. Really good icecream (Dreyers/Edy's happens to be my favorite)
2. Tortilla chips and homemade salsa. (I'm starting to drool just thinking about it)
3. Costco's chocolate cake (the round one with chocolate shavings on top). YUM!
4. 3 Musketeer's candybar. Also YUM!
5. My mother-in-laws homemade sweetrolls! DOUBLE YUM!

5 things I would do if I were a millionaire...

1. Hire a housekeeper to clean my house EVERY DAY and do my laundry for me EVERY WEEK!
2. Hire a chef to cook all of my and my families meals.
3. Buy a houseboat & ski boat and leave them at Lake Powell. Spend LOADS of time there!
4. TRAVEL!!!!! Everywhere and anywhere.
5. Share it with those I love.

5 places I have lived...

1. Utah (Go Beehive state)
2. New Hampshire (Live Free or Die! I love that slogan!)
3. Vermont (Nothing like Autumn in the Green Mountain State. Sigh...)
4. Virginia (They aren't kidding, Virginia truly is for lovers. wink wink.)
5. North Carolina (In my mind I'm goin' to Carolina - miss that place)

5 jobs that I have had...

1. Subway Sandwich builder (high school)
2. MTC Teacher/Supervisor (college)
3. 8th grade history teacher (intern for 1 year)
4. Political Fundraiser (fresh out of college and still an idealist)
5. The best one ever that only offers "on the job training" - Mommy!



Rules: Each player answers the question themselves. At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, Let the person that tagged you know when you've answered the questions on your blog.

Okay, so I don't know if I even have 5 people who read my blog. So if you are reading this, consider yourself tagged!

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Our Annual "Frank & Stein"

Kassidy, Kaitlyn & their cute neighborhood friends!!

My Mom & Kami as the Pink Ladies (I was one too, but someone had to take this cute picture)

Kassidy (a ghost from the 1800's), Caleb (Star Wars Clone Captain) & Kaitlyn (Dorthy)


Around our house we love to celebrate nearly everything, but we especially love to celebrate birthdays, the 4th of July, Christmas & Halloween. I think it has to do with the fact that these are my FAVORITE - and as the mom - I get to decide when & how to celebrate most of these things. I must say, this is one of the very cool benefits of being the mom :). So every year since moving to North Salt Lake we have held our own version of Halloween fun. It's called the "Frank & Stein" and it is always held the evening of Halloween. We buy yummy hotdogs from Costco & I wrap smaller hots dogs in Rhodes dinner rolls to create hotdog mummies, which happen to be very spooktaculer I might add! We also serve homemade rootbeer in frosted mugs (our makeshift "steins"). It's all very casual, and our friends come and celebrate with us before heading out to go trick-or-treating. Needless to say, it was once again a very, very
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Will I ever get it together?

Today I told my friend Marianne that I'd pick up her daughter from school along with Kaitlyn since I would be driving them along with 2 other 5 year olds to dance. No problem right? So I go about my day doing all of the mom stuff that fills up every day, and as I send Kaitlyn off to kindergarten I think to myself "a nap would be perfect right now" especially since I was yawning every 30 seconds. What do I do? I set my alarm so I will wake up in 1 hour and have plenty of time to shake out the cobwebs before driving down to get the girls. I even put the phone beside me on the bed with the ringer on low in case someone calls (the "mom, I just threw up" calls always seem to come during a nap). Then I curl up on the bed, having been so responsible in making sure that I won't sleep the day away.

The next thing I know, I'm looking at my little alarm clock that I'm holding in my hand for some strange reason and it says it's 2:54 pm. My first thought is that my clock is obviously NOT working because I set the alarm for 1:30 pm and I hadn't heard it yet. That's when it hits me - the alarm is in my hand because I turned it off in my coma like sleep. 2:54 pm? School gets out at 2:50 pm, so I have 2 kindergartners who are either on the bus when they shouldn't be, or they are crying their eyes out wondering why Kaitlyn's mommy didn't show up. This is when I run around the house looking for the phone, mumbling words that I know I shouldn't say (hello! didn't I put the phone right beside me on the bed? Why am I wasting time running around looking for the stinkin phone?).

I finally get a hold of Marianne and the school and explain my complete LACK of responsibility. They help me pick up the pieces like good friends do, and we actually make it to dance on time. Just when I think I might possibly be getting it together - life throws me a curve ball and I'm not even standing in the batter's box. Sigh...maybe someday it'll happen, but that day obviously is not today.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Treadmills are a necessary evil

The time has finally come when I trudge downstairs to my treadmill at 5 am instead of running outside. It saves my lungs from the freezing and often smoggy Salt Lake air, but it sure does come at a cost. One of my favorite things about running is the simplicity of it all. I run to a certain spot, then I turn around and run home. That's pretty much it. When I'm alone I just think my crazy, jumbled up thoughts and sing silently along with my ipod. Lately, I've been lucky enough to run with Maureen, and we get to talk about family, politics, the crazy economy, and anything else that might seem important at the moment.

But on the treadmill it's a different story. There are numbers blaring out at me know matter how hard I try to ignore them. Numbers relating how fast I'm running, how far I've gone, how many calories I've burned, and if I really feel like it, what my heart rate is. And even though Maureen meets me in my basement at 5:10 (I certainly wouldn't get up at that insane hour if I didn't know she would be counting on me to be there) we can't discuss much over the monotonously loud hum of the treadmill. It's kind of like eating fat free icecream - It gets the job done but isn't ANYTHING like the real thing. It's a means to an end, a necessary evil.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

We are as the Army of Helaman

Sometimes watching my kids go through the tough lessons of life is a painful thing. Sometimes, friends can be mean, bullies abound, and homework is tough. Sometimes we aren't in the "in" crowd, or we don't feel a part of any crowd. Sometimes we have to do things over and over again, and we still never seem to get them right. With all of the things that seem to shift with the wind in a child's life, I suddenly felt an enormous need to teach my children that some things are constant. No passing fad, shifting view, or changing opinions have an impact on whether or not these things are important.

So we read from the Book of Mormon about the Army of Helaman, yes those 2,000 strippling warriors who fought for the cause of freedom with such strength, bravery and faith that not one of them died in battle. All of the them were wounded mind you, but not one of them died. "How amazing is that" I asked them. They seemed to be quite impressed, but then I told them, "do you know that you can be just like Helaman's Warriors?", which they didn't seem to completely believe. Caleb struck a fabulous fighter pose, and asked, "Can I wear a knife in my sleeve?". I had to explain that this was not the kind of warrior I was talking about. I meant that they could be like "Helaman's Warriors" by surviving life's daily battles with their heads held high. Wounds are inevitable, but our integrity can and should stay intact.

We decided that Helaman's Warriors were true to 3 very important things: their God, themselves, and their family. When it comes right down to it, nothing else matters very much if you don't have those three things.

Just today Caleb came home from school and told me of an experience he had standing up for himself to a bully on the bus. We celebrated with a hug & high five. Way to go my little warrior!

Girls Night Out




It started with yummy Italian food, and then after a crazed search for parking, we were off to the main event. The main event? The Reba & Kelly Clarkson concert at the Energy Solutions Arena. The girls on a night out? Me, my mom, Kami, her friend Tonya, and Kassidy. After a frantic rush to our seats (3rd row dead center I might add) we barely had time to catch our breath before the concert began. I don't remember what they sang first, but man alive, those ladies can sing! And they sang for 2 hours straight, and of course we danced & sang right along with them. That is except for mom who certainly can't stand that long, and Kassidy who fell asleep halfway into the concert. But when she was awake, she did me proud! Dancing and singing along with the best of them. What an amazing, giddy, glorious girls night out!

Friday, October 3, 2008

Just a tad neurotic

For some crazy reason, I have to have a full glass of water beside my bed in order to go to sleep at night. Two-thirds full or even three-fourths full just doesn't cut it. So last night I had my glass of water at my sink as I was brushing my teeth. Mike came over to take medicine for his headache using MY glass of water, and then stood patiently behind me as I finished. I looked at him in the mirror and asked "So, are you just waiting to see if I'll fill it up again?" He laughed and nodded yes, and then I proceeded to fill up my glass of water to the very top. As he turned to go into the bedroom he said, "That's why I love you baby, you are completely comfortable with your neuroticism". Touche' and I just gotta love him back!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

5 am comes mighty early

I have a couple of girlfriends that I workout with in the mornings. Now, I'm pretty obsessive when it comes to getting enough sleep, so for the past few weeks I've been thinking about why in the world I roll my hiney (spelling doesn't count on blogs does it?) out of bed at 5 am every morning. I mean, it is pitch black, I'm nearly delirious, and everyone else in my home is still snug in their beds sleeping. I know that I do it because it makes me feel strong and all that...but, I've concluded that if I'm really honest with myself, I do it because it is one of the ONLY things that I do in this life that is just for me. Sometimes I think as we become husbands & wives, moms & dads, employees, employers, and followers of our faith, we can easily forget to spend quality time just on ourselves. Five o'clock in the morning has become that little piece of heaven that I have carved out just for me. As exhausting as it may be, dang it sure feels good!

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Our week was exciting because...

2 teeth were lost! Caleb lost one of his two front teeth while playing with classmates on his field trip. This was a good thing, as it was so loose that it was literally pointing straight out (No lie!). He still hasn't put it under his pillow, but is saving it in his sock drawer. I had to convince him that the tooth fairy will only come and take it if it is under his pillow. Right now he just thinks it is too cool looking to part with. Kaitlyn lost her first tooth EVER while she was in kindergarten. She cried at first because it scared her, but then was excited to be getting so big. She placed it under her pillow as soon as she got home from school as the prospect of money is much more exciting to her than a cool looking tooth.

I bottled peaches! No that is not a misprint - I seriously bottled peaches & peach jam - and I seriously loved it! This was my first time bottling anything, as I made a promise to myself when I was young that I would never bottle anything. Don't ask why as it is a complicated answer, but oh the naivete of youth. I'm finally learning to never promise myself that I will never do something based on ideas that I honestly know little about (buying the minivan starting breaking me in to this new doctrine of "never saying never", as I had also once swore that I would never own a minivan). Needless to say, oh the practicality of adulthood. I must also say that I did it with 2 of the greatest girlfriends. We had such a fabulous time. Chelsea & Maureen - you both rock!

Kassidy and I went for our first run together! How cool is that? Hopefully it will become a regular activity. I told her that running is such a great thing to do together, because we can do it together for years to come. "That is until you are old and get arthritis" she told me. Very true, yet not something I enjoy being reminded of.

With the economic chaos swirling around these days, I just thought it would be nice to think about the simple things that make life good.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

September 24th

My little sister will probably want to kick me for putting this here, but she says things so well that I had to do it. My mom married Lynn Balmforth when I was seven years old. The next year they gave me the best little sister ever - Kami Balmforth. If you know her, then you know why I say that. She is strong, smart, talented, and down right hilarious. Lynn died right before Easter in 2000. Though it's been over 8 years, it still hurts like hell. One of the hardest parts about him being gone is watching my mom and sweet little sister without him. It hurts when people you love die, and it hurts even more watching people you love live on without them. So here is a little tribute from Kami to her dad, and I just had to share it. Kami, I love you! Just an explanation to those who didn't know Lynn, he collected pennies. Jars and JARS of pennies.

september 24th...

i don't like to reminisce about my dad. he's dead, i miss him, yada yada yada. i don't like to end up in a sobbing mess. i don't like it when my mom cries. i don't like to be out of control. but a few things have happened recently so he's been on my mind quite a bit, way more than i prefer. so obviously i need to purge. this summer mom and i tried to kill two birds with one stone by visiting dad's grave and then traveling to bear lake. don't try that, because it takes you about a bazillion hours in the wrong direction and then you just end up pissy and not really in the mood to memorialize a loved one. we got to the cemetery and went to stand by the headstone. it's actually a pretty cool little cemetery out in the middle of nowhere. although at night, i bet it's totally creepy. mom is good not to make me stay for very long. there really isn't much you can do there. but as we were getting in the car, i noticed that there was a penny on my seat. it wasn't there before, the car was clean. i don't usually indulge in beliefs beyond what i can see, but i like to think it was his way of saying hello and that he's at least aware that he left us too quickly.

my uncle also found some video clips of him singing at family parties and such. i have mixed feelings about that. i had forgotten what his voice sounded like. i had forgotten what it was like to hang out with my dad. i'm grateful to have the memento, but it doesn't feel good. i still don't know about that.

i miss my dad terribly. i miss the way he would tickle my chin when he got home from work. i miss the way he would poke his head into my room at night and say, "i sure love you." i miss his pocket protector and how my face would smush into it when he hugged me. i miss the suspenders. i miss how he smelled. i miss the way my cats always loved him more than they loved me. i miss the way he would file things. whatever he could find, as long as it could be put into a manila folder (with a typed label of course) and filed, it was worth something. who knows, you may need that all important article on UFO's in the near future.

i'm angry that i never really got to have a grown up conversation with him or ask him certain questions. even if he had to make up the answer, he'd still have one. i'm angry that he told me that everything was going to be fine. even though he was hard to live with, i still wish he was here. tomorrow is my dad's birthday. he would have been 75 years old. three quarters of a century with more experience and wisdom than i can imagine at 29. i suppose that's why it's bugging me so much this year. 75 is a milestone. dad and mom would have been married 30 years this year. so many things that i feel like i should have been able to share with my parents. i would have bought him some kind of awesome tie and a shirt because he never bought anything for himself. he would have pretended that he didn't want a party, but would be in the middle of it all if we threw him one. he would break out the old spice for the special occasion. he would play the guitar. he was good at that.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

A few things I've just got to say

So, I've been a political junkie since High School, and various aspects of this Presidential Election have been like a dream come true for me. Now with the nomination of Sarah Palin to the VP position on the Republican ticket, there are a few things that I just have to get off my chest. I am absolutely sick and tired of the "feminist establishment" out there telling me that because I happen to be a stay-at-home mom and pro-life that I am somehow NOT a feminist. They are now employing the same techniques to discredit my belief system that they themselves fought against for nearly 40 years. I am grateful to those strong women who have gone before me clearing the way for choices and freedoms I now enjoy that women before me would never have dreamed were possible. I happen to be incredibly lucky to have 2 amazing women as my mom and step-mom who helped me to believe that I could do anything and achieve anything. So, let me set the record straight with the "feminist establishment" (not that they would actually read this, but it sure does make me feel better). I am INDEED a feminist. To be more specific, I would consider myself to be a Cultural Feminist, meaning that I believe men and women are intrinsically different, but these differences and their contributions to society should be valued equally. So to Sarah Palin I say, you go girl! And to the so called establishment I say, take a look at the strong women I am priviledged to know who are raising sons to respect and revere womanhood, and daughters to embrace and be empowered by their womanhood, and you will have a glimpse of how these woman are literally changing the world in a way that your ranting, raving & protesting never will. Yes, these are the women who are changing the world, and I am proud to among them

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Teton Valley Rocks!






We went up to visit Mike's parents this weekend. It had been way too long since our last visit, so all 5 of us were mighty excited to get to Grandma & Grandpa Ricks' house at the base of the Teton Mountains. Before I married Mike, my exposure to Idaho had pretty much been limited to the Pocatello area, which I didn't find all that exciting (sorry to all you Pocatello fans). I remember the first time I visited Mike's childhood home in Driggs, Idaho. We got there around midnight so I had no idea how incredibly BEAUTIFUL it was until I woke up the next morning. For those of you who have never been to Teton Valley - it is absolutely amazing. The beauty of the mountains surrounded by rolling farms and small towns is the best stress reliever that I have ever found. Mike and I joke that even the clocks run slower there. It has become as dear to my heart as my own hometown, and now I get to watch my children take advantage of all that it has to offer. For the entire weekend they filled their days with throwing rocks, riding horses with their Uncle Tim, and "swimming" in Grandma & Grandpa's hot tub. It is a beautiful, serene, and simple place. Visiting has always helped me to look at my life from a new perspective, and I always leave with a strong desire to SIMPLIFY! If you haven't been there, boy are you missing out!

Monday, August 25, 2008

First Day of Kindergarten




Today I sent my baby off to kindergarten. I couldn't decide whether to cry or giggle uncontrollably - so I just stared blankly at the school doors after walking her inside. What did I do with my four hours of complete, independent freedom? First things first, I went to lunch at the Paradise Bakery with my mom. (I must say that their crumbly blue cheese salad IS paradise!) Then it was off to Costco with no children in tow, and after putting away the groceries I took a nap. Yes, let me repeat that, I TOOK A NAP!! I did all of that while Kaitlyn was in kindergarten. No wonder I wanted to giggle uncontrollably - it's been 10 years since I've had that kind of freedom. I woke up from my nap as the bus was driving around the neighborhood dropping off children from school. I ran to the front porch and waited anxiously for Kaitlyn. I saw her come around the corner holding hands with her big sister in that cute little uniform, and what did I do? I started to cry.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Enough with the Chaos already!

School starts this week. I'm torn because I love being with my kids during the summer. NOTHING beats the combination of sunshine, laziness & giggling. But I can only handle the chaos summer brings for so long. Do you know what I mean? I started out the summer so organized with chore charts, summer homework and clipboards. About 3 weeks into it is when I feel myself submitting to the craziness - telling myself to just enjoy these summer moments and to go with the flow. For the "Type A" person that I am, it takes enormous mental effort to just go with the flow. Pretty sad, but still true. So by the end of the summer when absolutely everything that can possible be messy and cluttered in my house is now messy and cluttered I begin to worry a tad bit about my sanity. Seriously, I can barely make my way through my kids rooms, the playroom, and the garage. So I'm doing my best to not be running around like a crazy woman shouting, "enough with the chaos already!" I keep reminding myself that in a few weeks I will have the time to clean, organize, and straighten, and it honestly isn't going to kill me if I just let it go for now. Sometimes I just have a hard time believing. So I'm going to take a deep breath and keep trying to go with the flow.

Friday, August 15, 2008

The Most Miserable Joy

Okay, so Kassidy turned 10 years old this week and will be going into 5th grade. This is really freaking me out!!! I VIVIDLY remember 5th grade - I honestly thought that I was so old, and now that's how old my little girl is. Yesterday she came to me with tears in her eyes and she said, "Mom, I just feel so sad today and I don't know why." I almost said, welcome to the emotions of womanhood honey. But instead I just hugged her and we talked about it.

To celebrate her birthday, Kassidy and I took a special trip to Chicago. Yes, I'm a little crazy with the birthday thing, but I so wanted to take her to the American Girl Place and I knew that her interest in American Girl dolls wasn't going to last forever. So I spent 4 days just hanging out with my little Kassidy. We shopped (boy did we ever shop), we got room service, we ate tons of pancakes and pizza, and yes - we spent countless hours in the American Doll Place. She's my first, the one that taught me how amazing motherhood could be. Also, the one who offered me her unconditional love as I figured out what type of mother I wanted to be. I never knew that I would love being a mom this much, that I would love these three little people in a way that I could never have imagined. As I watch Kassidy grow (and Caleb & Kaitlyn), I feel like my heart is going to burst with pride, love, and sadness because it is going so quickly. As my mom says, it's, "the most miserable joy". It truly is.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Why the Rockin Ricks?

My cute children love to name things: their stuffed animals, paper towels (no kidding), and our cars. So I thought it was pretty cute when one day this summer, Caleb decided that we should be called the rockin ricks. All three kids agreed that was the perfect name for our family and I just had to grin. After all, I always holler "rock -n- roll, let's go!" when it's time for the kids to hop into the lovely family minivan (which is named "Princess" by the way). We listen to "We Will Rock You" at the start of any family adventure, such a trip to the lake or a museum. And ultimately, they've been subjected to many fine musical artitists such as ABBA, Queen, Def Leppard, Bon Jovi, and yes even some AC/DC since birth. In fact, when Kaitlyn was 2 years old, she and I were driving around town and I turned on a country radio station. She immediately hollered, "No Mommy! I want Rock -n- Roll!" That's my girl! So the rockin ricks has stuck, for the summer at least. I hope it's here to stay, because it will always remind me of their sweet innocence!

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Grandma Kathy turns 66!

My cute mom had her 66th birthday this week. In honor of that amazing little lady (she's shrinking - the doctor even confirmed it), I thought I'd write 6 things that my mom taught me that have helped me throughout this crazy adventure we call life.

  1. No - my legs are NOT painted on! This was a phrase she used to throw at us when we were little and wanted to be lazy and make her do all of the work. Translation - you have legs that work so get up and use them. Use them to work hard, play hard and pray hard and you'll be at peace with who you are.

  2. "Polyester Bendovers" work just fine! Ok, these were the pants my mom used to wear to work because she was in sales. She used to sell CANDY!! How cool is that when you are growing up. Anyway, her job required a lot of building displays and hauling candy and materials around and her polyester bendover pants (with the elastic waste) worked out just perfectly. Translation - It doesn't matter what brand of clothing you wear, what you drive, or where you live, it's what's inside of you that counts!

  3. Honey, we're rich, we just don't have any money! Richness in life comes from what you make with the relationships you have, NOT by how much money you make. No translation needed on that one :).

  4. She (or he) is doing the best that she can with the tools that she has! This one used to and still does gets repeated all of the time, and now I even find myself repeating it in my own mind. Translation - we need to be patient, understanding, and kind with one another. You never know what someone else is dealing with, and they usually are doing the best that they can. This one is still hard for me to remember sometimes. Sorry mom, I'll keep working on it.

  5. Diet Coke runs rule! While I was growing up we used to make a run to the local Maverick (convenience store) ATLEAST once a week to get a diet coke together. We even had our own special orange "Mav Mugs" that we could wash at home and refill for 25 cents on our next diet coke run. We still do these to this day and I LOVE them! Translation - sometimes you just need a break, someone to talk to, cry with or laugh with. Who better than your own mom?

  6. Laughter is the BEST Medicine! Anyone who knows my mom and has heard her laugh understands what I mean by this one, so no translation is needed here either!

Thanks mom! Happy Birthday!

Friday, July 18, 2008

Washing Windows

I've been waiting for over a week now to receive some manifestation of what I should blog about. What in the world am I supposed to be writing here anyway? No such manifestation has been received so I'm just going to have to wing it. Here I go: Yesterday, a man knocked on my front door and asked if I would like to have the windows in my house cleaned. "Absolutely" I replied, I mean, who doesn't like clean windows? So after agreeing upon a reasonable price, he and his three employees went to work. It had been two years since I last had my windows cleaned, and the debris accumulated on all of these glass panes throughout my home was quite astonishing, and definitely disgusting. When they finished I couldn't get over how beautiful it was to see the outside world without all of the water marks, dust, and scum marring my view. For the first time in a long time, I could see! Last night as I was walking through my living room I actually took time to gaze out at the stars and the gorgeous full moon, all shining brightly through my pristine windows. As I went to bed contemplating the difference a clean window can make, I thought, "Wow, if only I could clean my mind's eye view of the world the way these men cleaned my windows". If only I could wipe away the cob webs, dust and scum that clutter my heart and mind as easily. If only I had an internal source of soap and a squeegee that would always allow me to see the beauty and majesty that exists within the walls of my own home no matter the circumstances. If only...

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Becoming a Blogger

Tech Savvy is not the term you would use to describe me. I finally carry a cell phone with me, it actually has a few phone numbers programed into it and I even text every now and then. So when my friend Chelsea told me that she was a "blogger" I just chalked it up to the fact that she is totally hip, and I'm - well I'm totally unhip me. But then I thought - why not me? So here I am, becoming a blogger. Rock on!