Dear Dad,
I miss you. It’s been nearly 4 months since you left and I still miss you. Desperately. Everyday. I see you everywhere and in everything. It’s heartbreaking and comforting all at the same time.
Do you still see me? Do you hear me crying to God at night? I keep asking Him to tell you that I love you. I hope He has. I need for you to know. I need for you to know that you are a wonderful father and I am so very proud to be your daughter. I need you to know how honored I am to be a little piece of you still living on this earth.
Dad, there is something I need to tell you. You gave me some advice about how I was raising my kids last summer. It made me mad. It made me want to fight back with some harsh words. Instead I just kept it inside. I want you to know that you were right. You were right all along. Please keep sending me your advice. I need it, even when I refuse to realize I need it. I’m stubborn like you, so sometimes it takes a little while to sink in.
I’m trying to be tough, but sometimes I can’t. I’m trying to work hard and be a woman of my word. I’m doing my best to make you proud. I hope you are watching.
I love you dad.
Your daughter,
Kristen
"I've come to know that our families are a canvas on which we paint our greatest hopes - imperfect and sloppy, for we are all amateurs at life, but if we do not focus too much on our mistakes, a miraculous picture emerges. And we learn that it's not the beauty of the image that warrants our gratitude - it's the chance to paint."
Richard Paul Evans
About Me
- Kristen
- Things that I love: making my kids belly laugh, sleeping, reading, my faith, talking politics, not wearing shoes, snuggling my sweetheart, t-shirts and jeans, talking with girlfriends about everything, nothing, and all that is inbetween, classic rock, diet coke, loyalty, and oh yeah, did I mention sleeping? Things that I can't stand: nylons, uncomfortable shoes, people who are catty or mean, whining, and insomnia, especially since it interferes with my love of sleep.
The Rockin Ricks
Blogs I read!
Cute things my kids say & do
Kaitlyn and her best friend had an "Olympics Day" at gymnastics. They all received cute medals on ribbons at the end of class. While we were driving home Kaitlyn's friend looked at the back of the medal and asked in a frustrated voice, "Why is EVERYTHING made in China?". Kaitlyn quickly replied, "We weren't. We were made by Jesus!"
I put gel in Caleb's hair before school to make it all spikey. When I was all done I told him, "You look nice dude." Kaitlyn was sitting right next to him, so she looked over at him and exclaimed, "Yeah! You look freakin nice!". It was the first time I'd ever heard my 5 year old use the word "freakin".
We had just finished reading together and were getting ready to have family prayer on Sunday night. Caleb was stretched out on the ground when Mike asked him to say the prayer. Caleb sat right up and said, "I didn't see that one comin'!" but immediately began to pray. Mike and I couldn't stop laughing, I mean how many 7 year old's actually say that?
Forgive me, but this one is about the mom not the kids. It was my turn to drive carpool tonight to acting class. I planned to hit the grocery store while the girls were acting their little hearts out. I got out of the car to go into Albertson's and just happened to look down at my feet. I was wearing my slippers! Not even cute little ones either, but my BIG, HUGE, FUZZY, BRIGHT BLUE slippers. Needless to say, I got lots of stares.
Today in church our whole family was sitting quietly (imagine that!) while they passed the sacrament. Caleb leaned over to Mike and asked, "What if I get called to Beijing?" meaning called on a mission. (It totally cracks me up when my kids spit out words like Beijing & Mesopotamia). Mike replied, "That would be cool son." Then Caleb leaned over to ask Mike another question. "In the Princess Bride, why do they call them Rodents of Unusual Size?" is what he asked. I looked at Mike at almost burst out laughing. From a mission in Beijing to ROUSes in 2 seconds flat. The kid cracks me up.
Kassidy came in from working in the garage with her dad to grab a pair of scissors. I asked her what they were for. She explained that all of their kites had really tangled strings so they were going to cut out the tangled part, and then reattach them to the kites. She headed back to the garage but then turned around to face me, put her hands out to emphasize the importance of her next comment, and said, "but don't tell the kids okay mom." The kids? Isn't she one of the kids? What in the world made her think she could grow up so darn fast without asking for my permission?
I was driving Kaitlyn home from dance today and we were listening to the radio. A commercial came on that ended with the song, "It takes two baby". Kaitlyn listened and then didn't miss a beat as she said with TOTAL Kaitlyn attitude, "no it doesn't, it just takes one". She's my real go-getter - so true to form she thinks she can do everything on her own.
The other day, Kassidy was eating a scone with honey butter on it. Caleb asked her "What is honey butter". Kassidy explained that it is honey mixed into butter. Caleb then fell down and exclaimed, "I think I'm in heaven! Honey & Butter at the same time!"
We have sayings in our house about the things that "Rickses do", such as, "Rickses keep their word" and "Rickses watch out for each other". The other day Kaitlyn didn't want to carry her laundry basket upstairs and put her clothes away in her drawers because she thought it was too hard. I looked at her and said, "Kaitlyn, Rickses can do hard things." She immediately yelled back at me, "NO THEY CAN'T!!!"
We were practicing the primary songs and the kids speaking parts for their primary program this coming Sunday. We were singing along to a CD with all of the songs on it. When the song "Called to Serve" came on I said "Ok, everyone stand up because this is one of mommy's favorites!" We were all standing and singing when I turned to look at Kassidy to see how she was doing with the words. She was singing the words perfectly as she did the "Macarana" dance to the "Called to Serve" music. It was quite hilarious!
I unlocked our bathroom door while Mike was showering, to get stuff to do Kaitlyn's hair. I told her to wait outside the bathroom in our room and give her daddy some privacy, 'cause little girls shouldn't see their daddies naked. After I had shut the bathroom door, she hollered at me from the other side in her cute squeaky voice, "But why do you get to see daddy naked mommy?"
I opened the door to welcome home the kids from school. I was wearing a t-shirt that I got from a Journey concert a few years ago with the words "Don't stop believing" written acrossed it. Kassidy read my shirt aloud and then looked at me with a sly grin and said, "That's just wonderful mom - don't you stop believing".
While watching the opening ceremonies to the 2008 Olympics
Caleb: Grandma, why are those men wearing dresses?
Grandma: 'cause it's the culture & custom of the country.
Caleb: Do you think they feel ridiculous?
Kaitlyn: Is there a bug on my back? (said to anyone around, about 20 times a day.)
Grandma: Caleb do you want a hamburger or chicken nuggets?
Caleb: Hamburger, 'cause some people call their private parts nuggets.
I put gel in Caleb's hair before school to make it all spikey. When I was all done I told him, "You look nice dude." Kaitlyn was sitting right next to him, so she looked over at him and exclaimed, "Yeah! You look freakin nice!". It was the first time I'd ever heard my 5 year old use the word "freakin".
We had just finished reading together and were getting ready to have family prayer on Sunday night. Caleb was stretched out on the ground when Mike asked him to say the prayer. Caleb sat right up and said, "I didn't see that one comin'!" but immediately began to pray. Mike and I couldn't stop laughing, I mean how many 7 year old's actually say that?
Forgive me, but this one is about the mom not the kids. It was my turn to drive carpool tonight to acting class. I planned to hit the grocery store while the girls were acting their little hearts out. I got out of the car to go into Albertson's and just happened to look down at my feet. I was wearing my slippers! Not even cute little ones either, but my BIG, HUGE, FUZZY, BRIGHT BLUE slippers. Needless to say, I got lots of stares.
Today in church our whole family was sitting quietly (imagine that!) while they passed the sacrament. Caleb leaned over to Mike and asked, "What if I get called to Beijing?" meaning called on a mission. (It totally cracks me up when my kids spit out words like Beijing & Mesopotamia). Mike replied, "That would be cool son." Then Caleb leaned over to ask Mike another question. "In the Princess Bride, why do they call them Rodents of Unusual Size?" is what he asked. I looked at Mike at almost burst out laughing. From a mission in Beijing to ROUSes in 2 seconds flat. The kid cracks me up.
Kassidy came in from working in the garage with her dad to grab a pair of scissors. I asked her what they were for. She explained that all of their kites had really tangled strings so they were going to cut out the tangled part, and then reattach them to the kites. She headed back to the garage but then turned around to face me, put her hands out to emphasize the importance of her next comment, and said, "but don't tell the kids okay mom." The kids? Isn't she one of the kids? What in the world made her think she could grow up so darn fast without asking for my permission?
I was driving Kaitlyn home from dance today and we were listening to the radio. A commercial came on that ended with the song, "It takes two baby". Kaitlyn listened and then didn't miss a beat as she said with TOTAL Kaitlyn attitude, "no it doesn't, it just takes one". She's my real go-getter - so true to form she thinks she can do everything on her own.
The other day, Kassidy was eating a scone with honey butter on it. Caleb asked her "What is honey butter". Kassidy explained that it is honey mixed into butter. Caleb then fell down and exclaimed, "I think I'm in heaven! Honey & Butter at the same time!"
We have sayings in our house about the things that "Rickses do", such as, "Rickses keep their word" and "Rickses watch out for each other". The other day Kaitlyn didn't want to carry her laundry basket upstairs and put her clothes away in her drawers because she thought it was too hard. I looked at her and said, "Kaitlyn, Rickses can do hard things." She immediately yelled back at me, "NO THEY CAN'T!!!"
We were practicing the primary songs and the kids speaking parts for their primary program this coming Sunday. We were singing along to a CD with all of the songs on it. When the song "Called to Serve" came on I said "Ok, everyone stand up because this is one of mommy's favorites!" We were all standing and singing when I turned to look at Kassidy to see how she was doing with the words. She was singing the words perfectly as she did the "Macarana" dance to the "Called to Serve" music. It was quite hilarious!
I unlocked our bathroom door while Mike was showering, to get stuff to do Kaitlyn's hair. I told her to wait outside the bathroom in our room and give her daddy some privacy, 'cause little girls shouldn't see their daddies naked. After I had shut the bathroom door, she hollered at me from the other side in her cute squeaky voice, "But why do you get to see daddy naked mommy?"
I opened the door to welcome home the kids from school. I was wearing a t-shirt that I got from a Journey concert a few years ago with the words "Don't stop believing" written acrossed it. Kassidy read my shirt aloud and then looked at me with a sly grin and said, "That's just wonderful mom - don't you stop believing".
While watching the opening ceremonies to the 2008 Olympics
Caleb: Grandma, why are those men wearing dresses?
Grandma: 'cause it's the culture & custom of the country.
Caleb: Do you think they feel ridiculous?
Kaitlyn: Is there a bug on my back? (said to anyone around, about 20 times a day.)
Grandma: Caleb do you want a hamburger or chicken nuggets?
Caleb: Hamburger, 'cause some people call their private parts nuggets.
6 comments:
love you kristen.
after nearly 5 years, I still miss my dad.
Go to the temple. I always feel my dad there.
*sniff*
good to see you back on your blog. Love you!
No words. Just love--
and the feeling that He IS watching you.
I've missed you much...
"T"
He is watching over you. . . . and he is very proud of you and always has been and always will be. It was always in his eyes. Remember, if you think you have felt him, or had a flash memory of him, he is close by helping guide you. He has joined your circle of angels (probably in charge :))
Love you sweet daughter.
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