high school advice for my kids

So I'm in the midst of planning my 20th reunion from high school, and I must admit I'm enjoying it even more than I thought I would. It certainly causes me stress, but the connections I've made with old friends, and even finding some new ones has been a blast! It's got me thinking about my own kids. They seem so far away from high school at the moment, but while I'm in the midst of walking down memory lane I thought I'd share some advice about high school with them. So here goes...

To my girls...

Be a loyal friend! Make tons of friends in high school, but above all else, be loyal to them. That way you will never regret the way in which you treated those precious friendships.

Find a couple of girlfriends that you know you can trust and KEEP THEM. Who knows, when you are nearing 40 you may have a few friends that have been there during the best & worst times of your life. They will know everything about you, and love you in spite of it all.

DON'T BE CATTY or MEAN!!!! For some reason, this is something that many girls, and sadly women, are like. You can't change this about others. Sometimes you will have to walk away from friendships for this very reason, but do not participate in it yourselves!

Don't be afraid to love. Yes, your heart will get broken, but it WILL heal, so let go of the fear and just love. The lessons you learn by loving in high school will help you to love more completely in marriage. Might sound silly now, but alas, it's very true.

Love does not equal physical intimacy. That means ANY physical intimacy. They are not the same thing. At some point, someone may try to make you think that they are. THEY AREN'T.

And while we're on the subject, physical intimacy in high school (and quite frankly before marriage) has limits. Very specific limits. Don't forget to tell the boys you date exactly what these limits are. This doesn't mean I don't want you to ever kiss a boy or hold his hand, just do not go beyond that. Period. And honestly, if you are going to kiss them, make sure you are both standing up. It's much more difficult to go beyond that while you are both standing up. :)

Take the time to find out who you are, what you believe, and what type of person you want to become. Learning more about yourself during high school will help you to make good choices today, rather than bad choices you'll regret later.

No matter how hard you try, there will always be choices you regret. Learn to forgive yourself and move on.

Get involved. In clubs, sports, student government, choir, WHATEVER interests you. Just get involved.

Do not, under any circumstances, drink alcohol or take any drugs of any kind. Sometimes it takes just once. I know from heart wrenching experience that drug & alcohol addiction can happen to "all american kids". Drug addiction destroys lives. It destroys families. It breaks hearts. It kills.

Work hard and play hard. Keep a balance between work and play, otherwise you'll graduate and think to yourself, "I wish I hadn't missed out on so much!".

Tell your mom what you're feeling and what you're up to, because I KNOW she'll want to hear about it.

To my little guy...

Ditto to everything I said to the girls, plus a few extras.

Open doors for your dates. Every. Time.

Be Strong. Not just physically, but spiritually, emotionally & socially.

ALWAYS, ALWAYS Stand up for yourself and others. Be a protector of what is right. It just takes one person to treat themselves and others this way for the rest to follow.

AVOID PORNOGRAPHY as if it were the plague!!!! It is. It will affect your life FOREVER if you don't. Sadly, this is not an exaggeration.

To all three of you...Your mom and dad do love you. They want you to be happy. They want to be involved in your lives. Please let them.