Aha Moment

I have been applying for jobs lately. Yea, not a very fun thing to do when you've been out of the professional workforce for 10 plus years. Putting together my resume would have been hilarious had it not been so sad. I mean, how do you explain the talents you have and the experience you've gained due to being to being a stay at home mom? If I were honest, it could have looked something like this:

Stay at home mom 1999 - Present

• Vast experience in laundry, dishes, menu planning and conflict resolution. Knows how to clean up messes - especially ones that are not her own.
• Incredible ability to multi-task, manage projects, and stay within budgets.
• Self motivated and not afraid to get her hands dirty.
• Knows how to work her ass off with a smile on her face.

I've quickly learned that the corporate world does not place ANY value on these skills that I have learned as a stay at home mom. Even the substantial volunteer experience I have gained - especially over the last five years - only looks impressive until they realize that NO ONE PAID ME TO DO IT. I mean, how could it really be that important if someone actually got me to do it for free. Silly me.

So, I came home from one of these interviews absolutely exhausted a few weeks ago. If it weren't for this stupid recession, I wouldn't even be interviewing in the first place. I'd still be doing all of my hard work for free. My husband had generously gotten the kids a snack and started on their homework. I felt out of it the entire night because I wasn't at home for the entire routine. After tucking them all into bed, I ignored the laundry and dirty dishes and went into my room to think. Yes all of you out there in corporate world, I actually DO THINK. As I sat on my bed thinking about how in the world I could possibly do it all if I could finally convince someone to give me a job for more than $10 per hour - I had an amazing experience. It was like a door in my mind was opened allowing me to see and understand something I hadn't yet grasped, even though I thought I had. These are the words that came into my mind:

THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU WILL EVER DO.

I pictured my children from infancy to adulthood and finally understood -

THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I WILL EVER DO.

Suddenly I knew, that if at all possible, I needed to continue to stay at home with these kids. These beautiful, frustrating, gifts from God. They need me. They need a mom who will listen. Who will be her when they get home from school. Who will be an advocate for them throughout their education. They need their mom. And if I have to sell all of my worldly possessions in order to be there for them, then so be it. They need me. And even though this is not the way I envisioned myself making my mark on the world - this is it. Raising these three children is absolutely and unequivocally THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I WILL EVER DO. EVER.

Sometimes there just aren't enough rocks.

It’s been coming on for a long time now. An emotional breakdown that is. Due to various events and circumstances – this year has been a hard one for my little family. Just one of those “Refiners Fire” experiences we all go through, that hurt like hell while you are in the midst of them, but at the end you can look back and even be grateful for. I’m looking forward to the gratitude stage, as I’m not quite there yet.

The straw that broke the camel’s back came a little over a week ago. I forgot to do something for my friend that she was counting on me to do. I was supposed to take her kids to an activity they had been looking forward to, and wouldn’t you know it, I forgot. Normally I would kick myself for not keeping it together, apologize profusely, and do something to try and make up for it. But not this time. This time I completely lost it. I started sobbing uncontrollably while we were talking on the phone (my poor friend – thank goodness she still likes me) and when we hung up I went into my closet and bawled. I mean bawled like a baby. Do you ever have those moments when you think, “S@#t! I just can’t do this anymore!”? This was one of those moments. I was at the end my rope & just plain tired of hanging on.

My sweet husband finally found me, listened to my numerous bottled up reasons for losing it, and then he did an amazing thing. He sat right in front of me and looked directly into my eyes and said with complete conviction, “Kristen, I think you have done some of your best mothering this year. We have had a lot going on. You have been our rock, the glue that holds us all together.” From the look in his eyes I knew he meant it. And then to emphasize the fact that emotionally losing it every now and then is an okay thing, he used one of our favorite Forrest Gump lines, “Sometimes there just aren’t enough rocks.”

So Mike just took over. He planned a weekend “mommy time-out” for me. His mom met us half way from Teton Valley and then took me up to stay with her for four days. Four days to do anything I wanted. The first day I took a five hour nap. Seriously. Five hours. And yes, I was able to sleep that same night without a problem. I read Dan Brown’s new book The Lost Symbol , and finished reading the Book of Mormon. I took multiple naps each day. It took me until the last day to have the energy to venture out on a short hike. My mother-in-law made me her delicious homemade sweet rolls and even bought me a fresh lime freeze. I’ve now returned home refreshed and renewed. Sometimes when there aren’t enough rocks to keep on throwing, it helps to back up and take a look at why you’re throwing them in the first place. It feels good to know I don’t need to throw anymore of them, at least for a little while.

This birthday girl knows how to party!

Kassidy's birthday was exactly one month ago. Here she is with her brother and sister a few years ago. Kass is the peacemaker in our family. She is thoughtful, kind, and the ultimate "big sister". Watching her grow is awe inspiring and overwhelming.

This year for her birthday she wanted to plan her entire party. She came up with the theme, the menu, all of the ideas and basically told me exactly what she needed me to do. She wanted to have a "Mystery" party where all of her guests showed up in "gowns" and had to solve a mystery that occurred during the party.
Each invitation gave every guest a character name for the party. Caleb was her butler and checked off each guest as she arrived. The girls showed up dressed to play their part. It was so much fun to watch them come in dresses, with their hair all done and jewelry on.

The first activity was decorating masks that the girls could wear throughout the night. Yes - she even convinced her little brother to wear his suit to the party in order to look more like a butler.

The dinner was served in the dining room. Kassidy wanted everything to look "fancy" as they dined on pizza, watermelon, jello and strawberry lemonade.

Kassidy with her maid & butler :)

After dinner, a charity auction was held in our living room. This was pretty much the only part she allowed me to plan. Here are all of the guests waiting for the auction to begin.

Kassidy held up the first item up for auction. It was an "expensive" necklace inside a satin jewelry box. She fainted (which was hilarious btw) when she opened the box and realized the necklace had been stolen.

Thankfully the cook (aka - the mom) recognized that this must be the work of the "sticky fingers bandit" after seeing the signature sticky fingerprint inside the box. A sticky finger print was often left by this thief after he or she had stolen something. Thankfully I happened to have "mystery kits" right there to allow everyone to keep track of clues.

The first place the guest wanted to check for clues was in the kitchen. I mean, that's probably the best place to get sticky treats if you want them. I had a picture here showing the kids finding the next clue but somehow deleted it and I'm too tired to download it again. As they entered the kitchen they found the tv remote for the tv downstairs with another sticky fingerprint right on it. After writing down the clue, we all ran downstairs. I love Kassidy's face here. Her shock looks so lady-like as they find the next clue. Downstairs on the couch in front of the tv they found a bunch of mail with sticky fingerprints all over the envelopes. There was even a half eaten doughnut on top of the mail

The kids all ran to the mail box only to find Kassidy's grandma's car keys. The keys had sticky doughnut fingerprints all over them. Here are the kids literally sprinting to the garage to look for the next clue.

After searching through grandma's car, Kassidy found an entire doughnut along with her grandma Kathy's "To Do List" that had been left on the driver seat. The things her grandma had to do were: 1. Buy doughnuts, 2. Steal necklace, and 3. Watch "The Price is Right". This is Kassidy realizing that her grandma must be the sticky finger bandit. Oh, the horror!

Next, everyone rushed down to grandma Kathy's room. As they entered they found a very guilty looking grandma wearing the auction necklace, eating a doughnut and watching "The Price is Right". It was so much fun - even for the cook!

Here are "The Grandmas" enjoying the party.

Happy Birthday my sweet girl! I'm grateful for every moment that I get to spend being your mother! Even after 11 years, you continue to amaze me every day.

Too vivid of an imagination

I went to IHOP with the kids and Grandma Kathy yesterday morning. There was a lady walking from table to table making balloon shapes for all the kids - working for tips. As we ate our breakfast Kaitlyn & Caleb asked nearly NON-STOP, "Can I have a balloon Mom?". "How come she isn't here yet Mom?" and "What kind of balloons do you think she makes Mom?". I was about ready to scream at the balloon lady, "WILL YOU JUST GET OVER HERE ALREADY SO I CAN EAT MY BREAKFAST IN PEACE!?!?". Instead I said calmly to my children, "You are going to have to be patient, there are a lot of kids who want balloons, okay".

Just a side note - One of the most difficult parts of motherhood for me is calmly saying one thing while my mind is SCREAMING something else. Still haven't quite mastered it. But being kicked out of IHOP for yelling at the sweet balloon lady was a good deterent.

Fortunately, the balloon lady finally made it to our table before the kids and I had a major melt down and happily pumped out a black weiner dog (for Caleb), a red kitty cat (for Kaitlyn), and a pink humming bird (for Grandma Kathy). Kassidy quietly insisted that she simply did not want a balloon animal, even after several attempts by miss balloon lady to convince her.

After the balloon lady left, I thought to myself, "Darn it. My baby is too old for balloon animals". The sadness stuck in my heart until we reached the car. As soon as Kass sat in the passenger seat beside me she looked at me and said, "Do you know why I didn't want a balloon Mom?". I tried to act all casual as I replied, "No sweetheart, why didn't you want a balloon animal?" while inside I was thinking she was going to say they are for babies, or that they are so lame, or heaven forbid that she just flat out admit that she is too grown up now for something as frivolous as balloon animals. Once again I was able to control my inner voice and just wait for her to answer. And do you know what she said? She said, "I really like balloon animals. But as soon as I saw the lady making them I made up my mind that I wasn't going to get one. I didn't want one because I love them so much and I pretend like they are my real pet and then when they pop it's like my pet has died and it makes me really sad."

I was dumb founded. What do you say to that? I've always encouraged my kids to develop their imaginations and obviously they've done a fantastic job. But a balloon animal as a pet? Had I pushed them overboard? Had I turned my child into the BACKYARDIGANS on steroids? After pondering her comment for a few moments I finally said, "Yeah, that must be really sad honey" and then screamed inside, "HOORAY! She's still my little girl!!" The imagination is here to stay, hopefully for a LONG while, and I'm certainly not going to worry about it.

Our Summer - the "Reader's Digest" version

Building an AWESOME sandcastle


Two girls laying out by their Aunt Kami. This was too cute!!

Kassidy & friends celebrate the first day of summer

I've been without a computer for about 3 weeks. The summer weeks before that I was "reunion obsessed". Add those two together with a dash of overwhelming emotion and I get an entire summer with one post on my blog. So here is the "Reader's Digest" version. Not as good as the real thing, but hopefully enough to get the story told, and hopefully enough to get me back into the blogging saddle again.

Summer Story #1 - "My Daughter the Party Planner"

Kassidy has always planned parties. When she was about 2 and a half she invited nearly the entire neighborhood to her "Gooey Party". I'm not kidding. Eventually she had invited so many children that I actually had to come up with something. I had numerous kids on the street asking me, "Miss Kristen, when is Kassidy going to have her goey party?" The only problem was WHAT IN THE HECK IS A GOOEY PARTY???? But that's a story for another time. Luckily, Kassidy is now at the age where she can plan the details of the party, invite the guests, and then tell me what I need to do. The last of school this year was Kassidy's first sleepover party with a few of her closest friends from school. They played night games, made homemade pizza, gave themselves facials, and stayed up late at night talking & giggling. Needless to say, Mike and I didn't sleep much.

Summer Story #2 - "Booty Freeze at Bear Lake"

My mom has a fantastic cabin at Bear Lake that she owns with the rest of her siblings. We go there every summer for a week and have a great time. This year it was FREEZING! Let me repeat that - IT WAS FREEZING!! Bear Lake is a mountain lake. It never gets incredibly warm to begin with. With an unusually cold Spring here in Utah- the lake felt like glacier run off. It rained nearly every day and only one of those days got above 70 degrees. It was still a blast. First of, Mike's mom came with us as well this year. She & my mom are a hoot when they are together. More than once Mike would say, "Now Grandmas, if I get any more lip from you I'm gonna pull this van over and make you both walk". This of course just made us all giggle more. We played games, watched movies, did crafts, and even went to the beach to jet ski nearly every day. Call us crazy - but sometimes crazy can be a lot of fun.

Summer Story #3 - Yellowstone

Our family vacations this year were products of the recession - and much closer to home. We spent a very long day in Yellowstone National Park and had a fantastic time. From Old Faithful to mud pots, we saw all we possibly could within the hours of daylight. On one hike the kids were whining about the difficult climb and all I could think of was "I obviously do not subject my children to hard physical labor nearly enough!" We read Harry Potter together during the drive and played a license plate game where we found 40 of the 50 United States represented. It helped all of us appreciate the beauty found within this country just a little more.

I think I'll just stop with three - otherwise I will never publish this post. I hope you all had a wonderful summer and are ready to jump right in to Fall.

BHS Class of 1989 Reunion

BHS Class of 1989 Classmate Social (Thursday night)

I suddenly feel as though I can blog again. My 20th High School reunion - the one I've been completely obsessed about for months - is over. My mind is no longer completely occupied with menu options & ticket sales. I can finally focus on everyday mommy concerns once again. Today I even ran three errands and was able to immediately recall the location of my car keys, cell phone, and purse prior to each outing. I even did the laundry, fed my children 3 meals & baked brownies. I feel almost normal again! However, before I move on with my life AFTER the reunion, I ought to share photos and a few thoughts about what I loved about the big bash.

Kass helped with nametags & taking money at the Classmate Social. She's wearing my Senior Class Officer sweater. I realize she is my daughter & I'm just a tad prejudiced, but I think she is gorgeous. Mike's already making battle plans for scaring the boys away. I'm just gearing up for the emotions, drama & tears.

Therese, Amy & Me at the main event Friday Night

My 20th High School Reunion was held up at the Red Pine Lodge at the Canyons Ski Resort in Park City. I have to admit, the location all by itself was just plain cool. We all took a gondola ride up the gorgeous mountainside to the Lodge. The night started with appetizers and mingling outside, followed with a yummy meal and a program inside the lodge, with a finale of catching up under the stars, dancing, and being silly inside the photo booth that took hilarious pictures. I wanted it to be an amazing night, and I have to admit that it was. Here are a few of my favorite things.

1. LOCATION, location, location!!! The top of a ski hill in Park City is absolutely stunning.
2. LAUGHING, laughing, & more laughing!!! I laughed with the great friends I've made while planning the reunion, laughed some more with friends I haven't seen in years, and even more with the ones who have stood beside me the entire 20 years. AND I laughed hysterically at the program as Jared & Brian made fun of big hair, mullets & photo shopped images of classmates.
3. MIKE! Yes, my husband. He came early, set up decorations, movies, nametags, and nearly everything else. He put up with his crazy wife all summer and socialized with all my old high school friends. He danced with me, and found new friends while I made sure the evening was running smoothly. On the gondola ride down at the end of the night he rubbed my feet because they hurt so much. He proved to me once again how incredible he is, and why I love him so damn much! He even met old boyfriends & told me what nice guys they were.
4. The AFTER PARTY! Staying up until 5:30 am with friends was the most memorable way to end the night.
5. Dancing to 80's music! Need I say more?
6. Sharing a suite at the hotel with some fabulous friends!
   

I think this one is funny. I'm standing next to Shane & his wife Tracy. He was the guy I thought I was going to marry, before I served my mission. As things turned out, he met Tracy & married her while I was gone. Of course, I'm eternally grateful now, seeing as I met and married Mike - who (as anyone who knows us would know) is my perfect match. I actually got to know Tracy a little bit at our reunion - and she is quite an amazing lady.


Angela, Amy & Me - the morning (actually afternoon) after. We had breakfast/lunch at a Mexican restaurant in Park City. My stomache wasn't very happy with me!

Mike & I spent an extra day & night in Park City so we could relax a little. Here we are riding the ski lift to ride the Alpine Slide. We also saw a concert in the park with a bunch of hippies. It was the perfect ending to a perfect weekend. And now I can move on with my life with a little less stress and a lot more memories.

I am officially getting old

There are many signs that I'm getting old. Like the gray hair (that I've actually had since I was 25 due to STRESS) or the plethora of wrinkles and age spots on my face. And let's not forget my complete lack of mental sharpness. These days my I'm quite happy when I can remember the names and birthdays of my children - and consider being "sharp as a butter knife" a good thing. Those days of being "sharp as a tack" are long, long gone.

One of the signs of my ever aging mind and body is the fact that I am currently planning my 20th high school reunion. It has consumed me for a while now. The selling of tickets, planning of events and finding the right entertainment have caused me a few sleepless nights. No one tells you when you are 17 years old and running for Senior Class Office (because you WANT to plan your High School reunions) how incredibly busy you will be in your future life, and the obstacles & yes even stomach ulcers that may come along with it.

At the same time however, they don't tell you how amazingly fun it will be either. Working with people you haven't seen in 20 years, and even some who you never even knew when you were in high school. After nearly every time we meet together, I find myself contemplating how just down right cool these people are. All the "high school" crap has been peeled away throughout these last 20 years, leaving the hearts and minds of some pretty strong people completely exposed. I've grown to love some of them for the first time, and the rest of them I've grown to love all over again.

It's teaching me that I really don't mind getting old. Okay, so I really don't appreciate how difficult it can be to get back up again after I've been sitting on the ground for a while, but other than that sort of stuff - getting older has been much more fun than I ever thought it would be. I've been wondering why God doesn't let our bodies, hearts & minds be at their absolute prime at exactly the same time. I guess it could be dangerous. I'm beginning to understand what they mean when they say "beauty is wasted on the young". But then again, with age I'm gaining an internal peace & confidence that physical appearance simply cannot create. Why does it take 38 years to figure that one out?

May Mahem

Visiting Grandpa Ricks' grave at with the Tetons in the background
Batter up! Caleb waiting for his chance to bat.

Kaitlyn just being cute.

Kassidy and her friend Alexa at their school "state fair". Her bottle person is Eartha Kitt.

Grandma Kathy's condo after demolition!

Jardine's!!! They have a drive-up window so I don't even have to get out the car to get a diet coke. They also have the BEST ice and the sweetest ladies who own the place. I often begin and end my days (especially in May) at Jardine's.

March Madness has been something of a special holiday in our home for our entire marriage. I have learned to embrace it, understand it, and yes, even love it. But with the addition of kids, and especially now that all of them are in school, I'm now understanding that there is another "M" month every year that truly deserves a chaotic title as well. I'm referring to the completely crazy month of May.

It's a month that I have a love-hate relationship with. It contains many activities, holidays and celebrations that I adore - all smushed in with panic attacks, tears & exhaustion from the enormous amount of activity packed into a short 31 days. I'm considering calling it "May Mahem" but I'm looking for any suggestions as to what it should be titled. Let me know what you think.

Here is a quick look at the month of May for the Ricks family this year:

• Kaitlyn's birthday!!! Seeing as it occurred at the beginning of the month, I actually wrote about it since I was still able to form complete sentences without tearing up or falling into a deep sleep at the time.
  
• Mike & I celebrated 15 years of marriage! Celebrating was strictly limited to mushy cards and kisses - due to the crazy day & a cute sister who ran out of gas on the freeway that night.


• Mother's Day! I let everyone wait on me for an entire day - and it was sublime! I have to admit, it is one of my favorite days of the year since I pretty much get to do whatever I want (within reason of course).
  
• School Projects. Yes - with the end of the school year closing in, many of those all important projects are coming due. We made posters, miniature floats (like the parade type of float) and a bottle person (seriously, you can't make this stuff up). The kids were writing biographies and book reports. Studying for CRT's (whatever the heck that means!) and other end of year tests. They memorized poems, states & their capitals, and of course those never ending "math facts". This was all on top of their regular school work & homework - which seemed to be assigned in abundance as well.
  
• School Programs. Gotta love 'em! The fairs, field trips, "culminating activities", school olympics, and end of year programs. It's hard for me to keep them all straight & to make sure that I'm seen by my children at each and every one of them. They will continue right up until the last day of school.


• SPORTS! It's that time of year. Baseball and soccer dominate three to four evenings a week this month. Thank goodness we've got nothing else on our plates! Actually, we didn't use "plates" very much this month - dinner usually consisted of food stuffed into paper bags or $5 pizza from Little Caesars.
  
• DRAMA! Kassidy has been taking drama classes this entire school year, and they ended it with putting on a musical production - High School Musical. NOTE TO READERS: I didn't "do" drama growing up. I didn't "do" singing either. Holy CRAP a lot of work goes into that stuff! I had absolutely no idea. It consumed weeknights and every Saturday since March. The third week of May Kassidy rehearsed every evening for 4 or 5 hours. Then she had three performances. It was a SERIOUS production, with major work required by all the of the participants. Once again, I HAD NO IDEA!!! Also, I have never been away from her that much for so long - and I missed her desperately. Needless to say, I cried & grinned uncontrollably each time I watched her perform.
  
• Memorial Day! We drove to Idaho on Sunday (the morning after Kassidy's last performance), stopping at the graves of our loved ones along the way. It was a bitter-sweet experience. The absence of Mike's dad was incredibly painful for all of us, but the closeness we had all gained during his illness & death was evident in all we did the entire weekend. He has left an amazing legacy!
  
• Watching Kami (my sister) perform! This was last night, and lasted 3 hours. She sang back-up for other performers and then performed a solo. Once again, I cried. She is a very talented singer. It's a talent she OBVIOUSLY gets from her father (sorry mom, but it's true). I kept thinking that he must be up in heaven watching her, and feeling incredibly proud. It made me wish I could hear the two of them sing together with him playing his guitar.
  
• And last but certainly not least, is something that has been ever present the entire month. Remodeling my mom's new condo. Mike has been in charge, and has done a fantastic job. From demo, hiring contractors, to picking out and purchasing all the supplies - he has been on top of things. I did help out a little, and learned a few new things in the process like: using big tools to tear stuff up is great for anger management, and that old men with nothing else going on in their lives besides being President of the condo HOA will make you mop the garage (and no amount of reasoning will make them change their minds).

That brings me to today - the last day of May. We are going to let it go out with bang by watching a movie & snuggling on the couch, while munching on Mike's homemade carmel popcorn. It'll be the perfect ending to a perfectly crazy May!

Happy Birthday Sweet & Sassy Kaitlyn!

We call Kaitlyn "Sparkle" because her eyes light up everytime she smiles!

Kaitlyn has always been very shy. A sure sign that she is feeling shy is when she sticks her fingers in her mouth.

Kaitlyn making wishes at her Grandma Ricks' house.

Kaitlyn wanted to take her friends ice skating for her 6th birthday. Eight 6 year olds ice skating is very stressful on mom, but the kids had a ball!

Last Saturday was Kaitlyn’s 6th birthday. If I were on top of things, I’d have posted this on her actual birthday. Instead, I’m writing it on my Anniversary. Maybe I’ll write about my Anniversary on Mother’s Day J.

Kaitlyn is my dichotomy. She is incredibly shy in groups or in front of people she doesn’t know very well, but in our home she is the clown, the ham, THE entertainer. Kaitlyn is smart as a whip with rock solid determination. When she decides to do something, she does it. End of story.

This is my child who cherishes flash cards, homework, and practice. No lie. At school she is the first one with her hand up to answer a question, then impossible to understand because she sticks her fingers in her mouth.

Before Kaitlyn was born, Mike and I literally laid out a plan for how to deal with my post-partum depression. The plan mainly consisted of my getting on medication (prozac), and hiring a nanny for the summer (Robyn – who was awesome btw!). The result was something I had never experienced previously – thoroughly enjoying a new born baby. Please don’t get me wrong, I love all my kids. I loved them all as babies. But my experience with Kaitlyn was completely different, as my emotions were in check and I was actually well rested.

I remember staying up with Kaitlyn all night long when she was fussy. I would hold her with her head on my shoulder with her legs all scrunched up – like only newborn babies can do – and savoring every moment. I loved the way she smelled, the feel of her fuzzy hair on my cheeks, and the sound of her breathing. Then Robyn would walk in at 8am and I would hand her Kaitlyn and go upstairs to take a nap. Like I said, a completely new experience.

I love you Kaitlyn! I love your soft squeaky voice, your curly hair, and even the way you yell at anyone or anything that gets in your way. I love to watch you practice cartwheels, soccer, reading, math and swimming. I love snuggling with you in the morning, and tickling you for hours. You are tough, tender and absolutely amazing! Happy Birthday!

One Fine Day

My "Square Foot Garden" is full of dirt and ready for planting. This is one of three planting boxes scattered around my yard.

Kaitlyn swinging high!

Caleb & Daddy fighting with his Transformers. I should probably specify here that they are Caleb's Transformers - he just "shares" them with his dad :)

This will be the year that I start a new kind of garden. A "Square Foot Garden" that is. After being convinced by Chelsea and Maureen that this is THE way to garden, and after yet another dismal attempt at gardening last year, I've been all over the square foot garden thing. I spent the winter reading and obsessing over the book about the square foot gardening method. Then a few weeks ago Mike built my very own square foot gardening boxes. Today I finally mixed the very specific compost/vermiculite/peat moss mixture and shoveled it into the boxes. Mike helped me with the messy job - and now we have 3 garden boxes ready for planting. I am so excited, and honestly a little worried. I mean, what if my vegetable still don't grow after moving to this supposedly "fail proof" system? I guess it will officially mean that I was not meant to garden in this life. But at least I gave it a good try.

Working outside, watching my kids play in the sunshine & hang out with their dad, has turned today into one fine day. To finish things off, my mom (who lives with us until her condo is ready) made a delicious spagetti dinner with salad & garlic bread for all of us to enjoy. Our family tradition during dinner is for each person to share two things that were their favorite parts of the day. The kids favorites included playing with friends, watching basketball with dad, and jumping on the trampoline. When it came to be my turn I said, "My favorite part of today is right now eating dinner with my family, and doing dirt with dad." As soon as I said "doing dirt with dad" I started to blush & my mom started to laugh. Mike then said, "No Kristen, that's for later tonight".

Needless to say, we had a great evening, and it promises to only get better. So please excuse me now, I've got some dirt to go and take care of. :)

Spring Break, Caleb's Baptism, & Easter

Let me just start by saying that I've done something funky to my camera, so all of my pictures from Spring Break, Easter & Caleb's Baptism are messed up. But, it's the best I've got, so here they are. In a seven day period our little family drove to and from Las Vegas to spend a few days in the sun, then we made it home in time for Caleb's baptism and finally for Easter. It was a crazy, fun-filled week that left all of us smiling and exhausted. I meant to post the photos in chronological order, but ended up getting them backwards. I seem to do most things that way anyway, so I guess it's only appropriate.

I hope you can actually see Kaitlyn's face in this photo. She waited for a long time for this egg hunt on Easter Sunday. I was sorely tempted to ask the Easter Bunny to please NOT hide Easter eggs at our house this year. That was until Kaitlyn confided in me that the egg hunt is her favorite part of Easter, and she had been looking forward to it all year. Her face says it all. The bunny hid the eggs, and she thoroughly enjoyed finding them. Caleb & Kass enjoyed it as well, but Kaitlyn was absolutely thrilled to be chasing down those bright plastic eggs.

This is Mike and Caleb before Caleb was baptized. Caleb was so excited about his baptism that he couldn't stop grinning & jumping around. Caleb was baptized on the same day as one of his close friends. As they were walking to the baptism font with their dads, they jumped up in the air and gave each other a high five. I wish I had a picture of that one.

Caleb with his sisters right before his baptism. This is one of the only photos I have of them in their Easter dresses.


Caleb looking so darn cute!

Caleb & his daddy taking a gondola ride in Las Vegas.

Kaitlyn and Kassidy enjoying their gondola ride. You can tell that Kaitlyn in feeling shy because her fingers are stuck in her mouth.

Caleb chilling out in his daddy's office

The handsome birthday boy.

My little wild angel taking a much needed nap. It was one crazy & fun week.

Why Mormon's Build Temples

I've got a lot to blog about - with Easter, Spring Break, and Caleb's baptism all happening within a one week period. But, I'll have to save that for another day. Sometimes when I get an idea in my head for a post, I can't focus on anything else until I write about it.

My thoughts started a few weeks ago when I was made aware that the HBO "Big Love" would be airring an episode with a scene from a Mormon Temple. I didn't watch the episode, but apparently it was supposed to feature detailled depictions of our temple clothing, ordinance rooms, and temple ceremonies. Needless to say, I was TICKED at the idea of a movie/television studio using something incredibly sacred to me and millions of others in a way to sensationalize their programming, and hopefully lure in new viewers. I almost hate to admit it, but I was surprised as well. Call me naive, but I honestly was stunned to see my beliefs ridiculed and belittled in such a way.

My first innate response was to lash out. Like I said, I was TICKED! I wanted to yell at the top of my lungs at anyone and everyone involved in writing, producing, or marketing the episode. I wanted to throw a fit and let the world know how absolutely disgusting this was to me. I decided instead to allow myself a "cooling down" period before doing anything crazy like storming HBO Headquarters like a mad woman.

That brings me to today. I've been cleaning my house, trying to recover from the holiday, spring break, baptism week, and I was listening to General Conference at the same time. (Thank goodness for DVR that allows me to do this! Wow - what an amazing invention). For my non-Mormon friends, General Conference is a series of meetings held twice a year where the leadership of the Mormon church speaks to the church members. I wasn't home this year to listen to it, so I used the trusty DVR to record all sessions, so I could listen to and enjoy them later. Today happened to be one of those days. The talk from Elder David Bednar stopped me in my tracks. His entire talk was about temples and why they are so important to us. He said,

"We live in a great day of temple building around the world. And the adversary surely is mindful of the increasing number of temples that now dot the earth. As always, the building and dedicating of these sacred structures are accompanied by opposition from enemies of the Church as well as by ill-advised criticism from some within the Church.
Such antagonism is not new. In 1861, while the Salt Lake Temple was under construction, Brigham Young encouraged the Saints: “If you wish this Temple built, go to work and do all you can. . . . Some say, ‘I do not like to do it, for we never began to build a Temple without the bells of hell beginning to ring.’ I want to hear them ring again. All the tribes of hell will be on the move, . . . but what do you think it will amount to? You have all the time seen what it has amounted to” (Deseret News, Apr. 10, 1861, 41).
We as faithful Saints have been strengthened by adversity and are the recipients of the Lord’s tender mercies. We have moved forward under the promise of the Lord: “I will not suffer that [mine enemies] shall destroy my work; yea, I will show unto them that my wisdom is greater than the cunning of the devil” (D&C 10:43).
We should not be surprised by Satan’s efforts to thwart or discredit temple worship and work. The devil despises the purity in and the power of the Lord’s house. And the protection available to each of us in and through temple ordinances and covenants stands as a great obstacle to the evil designs of Lucifer."

Well there was my answer. I shouldn't be surprised that temple of God is and will continue to be under attack from the adversary. Storming HBO headquarters obviously wasn't an appropriate action either. I don't need to act like a mad woman in defense of what I truly love and believe to be a precious gift from God. I just need to live the way I have promised to live in that very same temple I profess to love. AND - while living what I believe to the best of my ability, I need to be respectful towards all those who have differing beliefs concerning the nature of God and His purpose for them here on earth. I must show them the respect that I hope to receive in return.

For those of you who are interested in watching the video the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has released about "Why Mormons Build Temples" I've include link below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-x_-TQivCx8-30,00.html

Random thoughts that have filled my brain this week

I've been missing being able to just sit down and write. I started re-reading my favorite book a few weeks ago, so I've spent any precious spare moments reading instead of writing. This morning I decided to let the dishes stay dirty, the laundry remain unfolded, and my cute 5 year old run wild (and naked I might add). I'm going to write about some of the random things that have been filling my brain & life this week.

• Should I allow my ten year old daughter to watch Twilight? I haven't allowed her to read the books, even though it seems like every other girl her age has. Call me crazy, but I believe she'll have plenty of sexual tension to deal with during her teenage years, so I'd prefer NOT to give her a head start on that one. I actually did allow her to watch the movie this week - with me acting as a censor for the things I didn't want her to see. I think it was a good compromise. Although, as the credits rolled at the end of the movie she looked at me with a curious look on her face and said, "That's it?" Almost like she was saying, "Why is everyone making such a big deal about THAT?".
• Caleb's questions about vampires and Twilight. Why is Edward's skin white? Does he have fangs? Why doesn't he drink Bella's blood? Are his fangs permanent, or do they just appear when he needs them? Does Edward turn into a bat? SERIOUSLY! I finally had to say NO MORE QUESTIONS ABOUT VAMPIRES! I was losing my mind.
• WHY is my five year old SO DARN GRUMPY?!?! She and I have mornings alone together before she heads off to Kindergarten. Usually, this is some pretty great time we get to spend together reading, snuggling, playing & talking. But this week, she is grumpy like nobody's business - And I was quickly on my way to the funny farm. Thankfully, she woke up this morning bright & cheery. Phew! Just in the nick of time.
• Will my children ever learn to flush the toilets after they use them? I am flat out TIRED of being surprised by floaties and stinky smells that seem to never go away.
• After reading an article one morning this week about the dangers of drinking too much caffeine I decided to give up diet coke.
• By 9:30 am that same morning I cracked open my first diet coke & decided to give up swearing instead.
• Are there any other creative ways I can find to stretch my dollar? This whole recession/ cash crunching time we're in is making me more careful, creative, and obsessive with how & where I spend my money.
• Will I ever figure out this whole Boy Scout program thing? Caleb has been eight for a whopping 2 weeks, and I'm already completely stressed out! We've already had a "space derby", a shirt mishap, a manual that sounds like gibberish to me, and all these stinkin' patches that I'm supposed to attach to the darn shirt. HELP! Someone please help me!
• Watching Kassidy resting on my bed and thinking to myself, "Wow, she is really mine. She is a part of me. She is amazing."
• No matter how much I volunteer at school with parties, activities & field trips - What matters most to my kids is the last party, activity, or field-trip. And if I wasn't there, then WHY NOT!?!?
• Should the Jazz keep Boozer around? 'Cause seriously, his defense stinks & I think Millsap is the man.

Obviously, a trip to the funny farm for me isn't very far away. However, I am enjoying the ride.

Hey y'all - my sister rocks!

My mom, Kassidy & I went to the "Zen Center" in Salt Lake to listen to my sister sing. She has a fantastic voice, and Kassidy thinks her Aunt Kami is the coolest EVER (well, she pretty much is) so we were very excited to hear her sing her heart out.

Here we are waiting for the show to begin.

Yeah, I know, she ROCKS!

Happy Birthday Special Agent Caleb!!

My little guy turned eight years old a week ago today. I spent two weeks preparing for his "Spy Party" and the last week recovering from it, so I'm completely behind in blogging. Let me tell you, 15 kids - most of them 8 year old boys - running around in one house for 2 hours is exhausting! But we had a lot of fun and I think the party turned out pretty great.

First, I want to write about this little guy who has stolen my heart. Before he was born, I was absolutely certain that he was a girl. We couldn't tell from the ultra-sound, but I always knew that I'd end up with another girl, so I was positive he was a she. I even went out and bought brand new baby girl clothes that would match his big sister's spring outfits. No lie! Caleb was delivered by c-section, and the moment he was born the doctor held him "bootie first" over the paper drape between my head and tummy, and announced, "it's a boy!". That was the moment he stole my heart, and he's kept stealing it on a daily basis for the last 8 years.

But first, here are a few photos from when he was a baby. Please forgive me, I just took digital photos of them from the poster on his bedroom wall. Hence, the flash that I couldn't figure out how to turn off. This one is from Holden Beach, NC when he was 6 months old. We used to spend a week at the beach every summer when we lived in Charlotte. This was his first experience with crawling around in & eating the sand.
Caleb has always, always adored his big sister. He used to roll, crawl, scoot, or whatever else he could make his little body do to get close to her. From the moment he could stand up, he started to run. I don't think the boy ever walked. He was an absolute TANK and it cracked me up to see him running as fast as he could to whatever it was that he wanted. The icecream man used to roll through our neighborhood in Charlotte at least 2 to 3 times a day. When Caleb was only about 15 months old, he would hear that icecream tune coming from the truck and there was no stopping him. He would start running as fast as his little chubby feet would carry him to the icecream truck hollering "Iceceam!! Iceceam!!" before I even had a chance to grab my wallet. Thankfully, I lived by some really great ladies who would often buy him his icecream before I even showed up.

I love this photo for SO MANY reasons! It captures his smile that lights up the world and his love for his sisters all in one shot.

Caleb's brain must go a million miles a minute, because the guy never stops asking questions. Sometimes, he doesn't even wait for the answer before he is blurting out another question. He also uses the cutest darn words on the planet. When we first moved to Utah, he and I went to a candy shop together. He was about 2 and a half years old. The first words out of his mouth when he saw all of the candy were, "This is AMAZING!". He loves to call it the way he see's it, and definitely has the words to do it.

Caleb is also very tender hearted and extremely in-tune with the spirit of God. I went up to tuck him in once when he was about 6 years old. I found him sitting on his bed with tears rolling down his cheeks. He looked at me and said, "Mommy, does it ever make you cry when you pray?". The other day in church, I heard a boy his age ask Caleb, "Why do we even need Jesus?" Caleb's immediate reply was, "Because Jesus shares his perfection with us!". He has always been mischievious, but I've never doubted that his heart is sweet and tender down to the very core.

For his 8th birthday, Caleb wanted a SPY PARTY. We sent out "Top Secret" invitations to all of his friends to attend a spy camp at our house. The kids got their own spy hats, spy badges, and played games teaching them spy techniques. After dinner, cake & presents, they went off on a secret mission to find their goodie bags that contained the rest of the spy items they would need.

Here is Caleb reading the first clue for their secret mission.

I even made the cake with some help from my niece Tiff.

It was a chocolate cake with white frosting. Everything else was black. And no, those aren't rotten plums on his cake, they are BOMBS! Actually, they were tangerines wrapped in black buttercream fondant with tinfoil fuses.

Every child had their picture taken at the beginning of the party for their very own I.D. badge.

On our kids actual birthdays, they get to choose what they want for breakfast (Caleb chose German Pancakes) and where they would like to go out to eat for dinner. Here is a photo of the kids at their favorite eating establishment, Chuck-a-rama :). Mike calls it barf-a-rama, but the kids love it because it's an all you can eat buffet.

Happy 8th Birthday Caleb! We love you!